What would 2006 bring into my life? Or rather, what do I want from 2006?

Happy New Year everybody.

I want serenity first and foremost. The rest are just icing on the cake. I want serenity because I want to still be able to look at myself in the mirror even when I give up, when I'm at a lost, when I fail. I want to be able to tell myself, "Hey Sharon, it's ok... it's not the end of the world... move on...." I want to learn to embrace the not so wonderful side of life.... and hope something's gained from the experience...

But I also want to be deliriously happy, however idealistic it may sound. Happy even when I fail, and even happier when I succeed.

As for new year resolutions, only one resolution actually, to be more hardworking! :) I've been sooooo lazy.... and I want to learn to be more accountable for my actions... I noticed I have been making excuses for my shortcomings. That has to go.

These weren't thought out over new year's eve or something... it's been a hope and aspiration that were supressed, but now I finally spill it all out, and click on the "publish post" button of this entry and hope for a miracle to happen.

*fingers crossed*

So how did I usher in 2006? By having dinner with with my parents and their friends, even though my heart wasn't at the round table.... before dinner I took a long walk in the weekend market in Satok and looked and checked out anything, but in the end didn't buy a thing.... then I took the car and when "shopping" at a few places in the city.... what I was trying to do was to rediscover the joy that this activity used to bring me... no chance... I've grown out of it.

My last 3-4 hours of 2005 was spent watching "Mary Bryant" on Hallmark... what a great movie.... it was inspirational and romantic.... I even imagined myself torned between the cheeky and handsome William Bryant and the tall and dashing Lt. Ralph Clark! Hehe.... then I found myself challenged by the heroism of Mary Bryant... what is my so-called "predicament" compared to what she went through? Where the hell did she get all her will and strength?

And that's why she's today a legend in her own right.

And just before attending mass today, I was watching the epic movie on Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots.... again I couldn't get out off my couch... I was totally entranced by the upheaval of her time and her torrid love affair with James Hepburn, the 4th Earl of Bothwell.

I can't explain what is it that I'm doing or going through... a little bit melancholic... a bit nostalgic... shrouded by romanticism....

Or maybe I'm just a sucker for romantic movies, especially those in the Georgian era of England... I fancied myself in one of those BIG dresses, wearing corset (hehe...), plunging necklines, ballroom dancing, tall, handsome lords, dukes and all the king's men.... infidelity, torrid, torrid love affairs... must have some been quite an era. :)

Anyways, now back to the 21st century, more accurately 1 JANUARY 2006, I am just Sharon Chin, the measly medical student, struggling with her studies, her lack of confidence, her fear of the very near future, now trying to make a new start for the new year. The gal, who occasionally self-pities herself and refuses to let insight talk senses into herself. But she's trying...

Happy New Year once again everybody! May all your dreams come true!

Bonne nuit!