I wonder if all the ungodly shift hours that I work will cause me to age faster? I feel tired and grey nowadays.

Talking about controlling the exercise aspect of my health, I can't decide what to do. I want to swim, but I'm worried about what chlorine can do to my hair and skin. I want to do brisk walking, but I'm paranoid about being stabbed in Sandakan. I want to stay indoors as much as possible in Sandakan because I just have the paranoid delusion that working in ED has made me a lot of haters that may want to hurt me, especially when I'm outside my elements, aka outside the hospital. Then I was thinking of going back to the gym, but I'm worried that I might find it boring after a while which happened the last time I joined the gym, and not to mention an utter waste of money. EXCUSES.

Shay, 8kgs lighter

It's been 6 months since my last entry, since Europe. Life after that was mundane because I made it so, and centred around work.

I'm secretly happy working in the Emergency Department because I'm a closeted adrenaline junkie, eventhough I openly show my dissatisfaction, my hormonal/emotional pre-depression mood swings, my lack of interest to interact with people at work, which are all true feelings. In my Utopia, I work in a high-paced and stressful Emergency Depatment, minus the lazy, bitchy humans. That would work perfectly well, but unfortunately my work is centred around lazy, bitchy human beings. Plus, the ungrateful patients and their family members. Plus how much a whore I feel working as a government doctor, as poignantly put by PL.

PL is now in Rome, mingling and getting exorcised by the Pope. I so hate her. I want to get exorcised too, and travel. But I'm addicted to my family and to my home, so I spend most of my leave flying home. There's no regret really going home instead of traveling. It's just that I really hate when it's the end of my holiday and I have to go through the trauma of leaving home over and over again each time. HATE.

The only great thing from this whole mess I ungratefully call my life at the moment is that I've lost 8kgs (17 freaking pounds!) over the last couple of months by just taking control of just one aspect of my health; FOOD. I've yet to conquer exercise. :) The lazy bug is much mightier than my will power at the moment.