It's not surprising that I'm hooked onto Miami Ink and Tattoo Wars. :) Yeah, I know I'm a bit slow to join the bandwagon. Haha. Now I'm itching to get another piece, maybe a coloured one? I know my initial idea was to keep the theme of all my tattoos (both present and future) black in the native motives, but now that I'm more "exposed" I'm so impressed by the vibrant coloured pieces and even the shaded ones. If only I could get a piece done by Chris Nunez... I made a pretty interesting observation while watching the show. The part where customers would come into the studio and one of the artists would ask the customer, "How can I help you today?" is so like how I would would greet and approach my patients in the clinics! So funny! And the way they would intently listen to the customers... so uncanny! I'm going to embark on a journey of "discovering" my next piece.

I was watching ER just now. Saw the episode where Lizzie gave an overdosage of magnesium sulphate to a patient because she read the label wrongly as 5 instead of 50, after working 36hours straight. The patient went into cardiac arrest. Gave me an adrenaline rush watching that 40-sec scene. :) Call me an adrenaline junkie or a sadist but I wished I was there resuscitating the patient! And yesterday afternoon, I spent 6-suppose-to-be-boring-hours-in-locum reading my wrinkled ABC of Major Trauma book from med school, covering primary survey to head injuries to burns. And my hours just flew by! I'm anticipating my inevitable transfer to the hospital! My transfer has been approved! And I'm so excited! Hard work and lots of heartaches ahead, but I'm psychoing myself to face what I think would be much worse than my internship. Some people questioned my sanity for ditching my comfortable postion in the clinics and for going through the messy process of admin work for the transfer, but I just tell them that if I don't take the opportunity now and make that change in my current situation that I'm rotting away in, I might not be able to forgive myself next time. I want to dedicate this post to Bren who's been so open about her internal struggles with her job.

Happy Father's Day!

Spent the whole day listening to a HIV/AIDS update in the hospital today. It was pretty heavy especially when it got to the drugs and the management of the opportunistic infections in a HIV patient, but I was very engaged with all the sessions and was strangely very excited especially during case discussions. I could feel my thoughts racing through my mind. Ideas after ideas, and stuff from medical school. Haha. But I felt that above every detail that the ID specialist presented today, all he really wanted to emphasize was that HIV/AIDS is a treatable disease, and that no patients should suffer or die from it. Just shifting my own mindset from AIDS being a death sentence to it being a treatable disease completely change how I would approach future patients.

I had the heaviest lunch ever, period, today. Mun Foo was down from Telupid attending a course in Sandakan so I brought him for a scrumptious seafood lunch. Needless to say both of us felt so lazy postprandial because of the excess load. And also because of the non-stop chatter in our extended 2-hour meal. The last time we saw each other was 5 months ago after we parted in Ortho posting to go for our respective district posting. But it was so enjoyable and because I do miss chit-chatting with a familiar face. I went for a swim later in the evening with the delusion that I would be able to burn off lunch. :) By next weekend I would have another familiar face with me here in Sandakan. My old housemate from KK will be transfered here, and she has accepted my offer to share my apartment. It was a no brainer because I'm comfortable with her. She had been an "uneventful" housemate. This weekend I would be completely occupied, thank God. I'll be attending a HIV update course the whole day tomorrow, then on Sunday I'll be trying out horse-riding! There's a ranch a couple of miles away from my place that is run by an Australian lady and her daughter. I met her last weekend at the yacht club and she was telling me about her animals in the ranch and also about her giving riding lessons. I'll just have a visit first on Sunday and see whether I'm comfortable with the horses. Can't help thinking of Christopher Reeve.

Good morning! What a beautiful day! It's been raining the past couple of days which has kept me at home. So today after work I'm either hitting the gym or going for a swim! Can't wait! I've even woken up early today (6.15am) because the sunshine was penetrating more strongly than usual through my white bedroom curtains. I spoke to the hospital director where I'm applying my transfer to yesterday and she sounded very nice and accomodating. She sort of pleaded with me to join the surgical or obstetrics department which were in dire need of MOs at the moment. But I expressed my desire for casualty experience, but of course wouldn't mind to help out in surgery for a couple of months then get transfered to casualty after that. Surgery would come in handy too for my future forensic work. Obstetrics... I'm not so interested. But seriously anything I don't mind because I'm itching to leave my 8-5 office desk job at the moment. :)

I've decided to get the ball rolling in changing my present work situation. I've been contemplating it for a while. I found another doctor in the hospital who wants to get a transfer to the outpatient clinics, where I'm posted to now. So it's a win-win situation for the both of us. Now it's just up to our final decisions and the admin side with all the red tapes. I'm so very bored in the clinics, and 4 months of it have rendered me rather unmotivated and uninspired to go on. At times it's very unkind to the self-esteem. What's worse is that my learning experience has reached a plateau, and life feels so routine for my age. I'm placed in this lifetime, in my present situation, with all the available opportunities for a reason. It's really up to me to cease the day! It's exciting just thinking about working the hospital again, the calls, the emergencies... like returning to my roots.

I'm down with the flu since yesterday at work but thoroughly looking forward to the weekend because of the French Open finals. The flu hindered me from attending a wedding reception last night not because I felt that crappy but because I couldn't stop coughing due to my irritatingly itchy throat. And the whole day in the clinic I was battling within myself whether or not to medicate myself. Anti-histamine or not? Many people who know me are baffled with my reluctance to take a paracetamol or an NSAID for a headache or period pains or an anti-histamine for rhinitis. The last time I took antibiotics was in Form 2 (some 13 years ago) for my acne problem! It's an obsession of mine not to have my body be dependent on medicines to fight a minor symptom or infection. The other day my neighbour's kids, ranging from 2yo-6yo were running around the apartment complex when I bumped into them. They were running away from their poor mother who was struggling to keep up with them, and keeping them from hurting themselves. When they saw me they were shouting excitedly, "Cheh-cheh! Cheh-cheh!" (Big sister, big sister). Them mum caught up with them and scolded them in chinese and squeezed their ears, "What cheh-cheh? Auntie la..." and looked at me apologetically... "Sorry they call you cheh-cheh ah..." What made her think that I minded that her kids thought I was young enough still to be called cheh-cheh? Kids don't lie.

Christina & Jason's Garden Wedding in Keningau

These are my healthy lungs and pretty-looking heart. Hope they stay that way for a long time. Had a very denerving experience today at the antenatal clinic. An 18-year-old girl apparently had a miscarriage and was bleeding for 2 days but her vital signs were stable. I scanned her with the clinic very fuzzy ultrasound machine and found what I thought was her uterus which appeared to still contain some POC (product of conception), and concluded that she had an incomplete miscarriage with active bleeding. At that time it was already lunch break (but I was working through 8am-2pm non-stop), so the clinic operator was out, so I couldn't call the Gynae MO in the referral hospital, so I ordered for the patient to be sent anyways urgently. 2 hours later, the oncall Gynae MO called me in the clinic and asked me why I did not inform her of the patient because the patient actually had an ectopic pregnancy, and was being prep for a laparatomy as we were speaking! But she was very understanding of my situation when I explained what had happened. She was nice enough to explain that the bulky structure that I saw was blood collection in the Pouch of Douglas (the pocket between the bladder and the rectum)! Honestly I've never seen such a huge POD collection. But the patient was ok. But I felt so momentarily shaken because in ectopic pregnancy, the patient could have just collapsed and die. But after several seconds, I had to pushed that out of mind because I still had a dozen more patients with problems for me to solve.

Yes, I admit. I have a bad habit of admiring and arranging my toiletries. I'm having a long weekend because of the harvest festival here in Sabah, but am using my time doing a little locum for some pocket dough, just in time for my trip to Keningau on Tuesday to attend Christina and Jason's wedding, which can come handy. It's so weird that despite my wardrobe bursting with clothes, I can't find a thing that would be suitable for a garden wedding. Probably because mainly that my clothes were mostly in pitch black and casual. But Chris has assured me that the whole thing would be simple so I need not worry about any dress code. So I may just wear something I wore for my sis' wedding more than a year ago. Will see.

Imagine my delight just now when I spotted my favourite local "Sabah" vegetable outside the nearby sundry shop that I frequent EOD to get my foodstuff. I absolutely have no idea what it's called but it's has a silky, slippery texture that tastes absolutely delicious stirred fried with garlic and ikan bilis. Today work was crazy. I had to scan about 50 pregnant ladies, insert 3 IUCDs, manage a few bleedy miscarriages, and a handful of pregnant ladies with high blood pressure with impending fits. Luckily I brought home the some 300 PAP smear results to review last night or else I wouldn' have time to get to it today. But the great thing about my situation is that everything comes to a hault at 5pm. In spite of the workload, I would't trade it for my former internship days when night or day was immaterial, so were personal hygiene and basic human needs. But I do miss the wards and procedures. Another of my favourite cosmetic product is TheFaceShop lip colour pallette, especially the pink one. Sweet.

I'm obsessed with these at the moment, to the point that I wash my hair eventhough it's not due. It's just so yummy the smell, and my hair gets really soft and shiny after it's blown dry, and the afterwash frizz is surprisingly very minimal. Even my very expensive Loreal shampoo, conditioner, hair mask and leave-on conditioner are no comparison. I'm getting very bored in the outpatient clinics. I feel like my learning process has reached a plateau. Currently I'm manning both the children and antenatal clinics by myself because of the shortage of doctors. I see a lot of patients a day but it's so routine and dull, and I'm left out there to fend for myself. I don't have somebody to supervise me and teach me new stuff. I'm contemplating of applying for a transfer to the hospital. I belive it won't be hard to get a placement because they are also terribly short at the moment. I'll give it more thought after my trip to Keningau next week to attend a dear friend's wedding. Have to fly to KK and make 2-hour road trip and return to Sandakan in 48hours. Couldn't get more days off.

It is a little denerving for me that I have to sign a "fit" form for firearm license for many people working in the estates here because there isn't a guideline from the police as to how an applicant is fit. What is worse is that most of the applicants I see are above 65years! The forms consist of a simple eye test and BP measurement and a section for applicant testimony to no underlying medical illness. My boss added the extra chest X-ray and ECG for applicants above 50years. Otherwise, that's it. Disturbing right? Nothing about whether they are tremulous or psychotic. "Oh no, I thought I was shooting at a moose! I didn't realize it was my son-in-law pretending to be a moose!" Yeah right, a moose in this part of the world?

Sandakan has more potholes than all the potholes in Sabah combine! Let me add that the potholes are unavoidable ones because Sandakan only has one main road to everywhere, since the highway is still under construction. I really pity my poor car. Let me add also that the potholes are super gigantic meteorite-hit holes. And dangdut bands are obscene. Imagine my shock when I attended a Muslim wedding ceremony in a suburban area of Sandakan expecting to find an event steep in culture and tradition, only to be rudely awaken by a loud obnoxious band with 3 slutty singers in cloth-devoid costumes and black fishnet stockings and above-booty minis screaming through the mics and head-banging cum very raunchy tiger show. And the audience consisted of very old guests in songkoks and tudungs in the front row and rowdy adoslescents in the back, whistling and making catcalls. And just next to the chaos was a beautiful classy light pink stage with the most beautiful pink roses, where the couple sat happily, oblivious to the riot just about 10metres away from them. They must be so into each other, yes enough to tie the knot, but enough to not be bothered by the obscenity at their wedding party?

I'm on my 10th day off rice, noodles, pasta and all the "white carbs" and it's not hard at all. I initially thought that being very chinese it would be hard for me to resist my kolo mee and char kway tiaw on top of my passion for pastas. But really I'm enjoying my salads and beans and lean chicken. And though the scales have not budged, I'm feeling lighter and cleaner (inside) every day. Importantly, I believe this would be a sustainable habit or lifestyle, not so much a diet regime. I really want to live a healthier way. My struggle would be exercising regularly. I really love to swim but the chlorin is very unkind to my hair and skin. So am banking on the gym at the moment. Wish me luck.

I'm very happy this week because I'm in my new rotation. I'll be manning the children's clinic for the next 3 months, which is so much more fun and fulfilling than running the diabetes and hypertension clinic. I've definitely learnt quite a bit there in the hypertension clinic particularly about the drugs used, but in the children's clinic, I get to put some clinical skills into practice, and I just love the process or the motion of coming up with a diagnosis from a symptom or two. And of course the kids are pretty cute. This afternoon I was asked to attend a flogging at the local prison here as the doctor on site (duh) to make sure the prisoners were fit for the punishment. It was a new experience for me, both going into a prison and also the flogging, and surprisingly, after 9 prisoners were flogged in succession, uneventfully, and after the brief excitement from the new experience had died down, I was just surprised at how I had no opinion at all about the flogging punishment. Except for excruciating ouch.

It's amazing how much I can get done during the drought period of locum, usually mid-afternoon and dinner time. In the past 2hrs without patients, I've completed a few very complicated claim forms and sorted out all the resits and optimized all my claims priviledges, some personal info forms for my personnel file ordered by the dept. and some more forms to renew my practising licence, and now writing a little something for my blog. :) And after this, or after the next batch of patients, I'll be starting on my PowerPoint presentation for my talk next week to some 30 nurses from all the MCHs in Sandakan regarding Port-partum haemorrhage. It's a subject that is dear to my heart after my very, very traumatic (and often bloody) 4-month stint in obs&gynae. THE PROBLEM is, I have to give the talk in MALAY! And it's not just 1 hour talk. I have to take several topics, the worst is probably talking on the physiology of 3rd stage of labour, IN MALAY LANGUAGE. I can so imagine how hilarious I would sound. :(

I was told by my boss and colleagues working already for quite some time here in Sandakan that people here (particulalrly the Chinese) love to write to the press or create a hoo-haa through the local political parties if they were unhappy about something or they just want things their way. One man this morning who came into my clinic was so quick to say to my nurse, "So apa macam? Mana file saya? Sudah 3 bulan belum jumpa dokter. Saya tulis pada surat khabar la, baru tau. Apa macam ini file saya tidak ada." The truth was, the clinic doesn't hold on to any patient's file, but the man kept on insisting that that was the case. He apparently lost it and after defaulting for several months now wants to see a doctor without any file or any documentation of his condition and the medications he was on. He stormed out of the clinic after that when he was told that despite not having an appointment or any case file he could see the doctor today but he had to take a number. He just stormed out. All I thought of the whole incident was whether it was good thing for him or for me that both of us didn't cross path this morning.

My favourite place in my apartment is my sitting hall where I have my meals, watch tv and go online, which makes the bulk of my time. My 2nd favourite place in my apartment would be my bedroom, which has a giant kickass bed and a very old-fashion washroom, a modern-looking aircond and an old noisy standing fan which I prefer over the aircond because my bedroom for some reason is the coolest place in the whole apartment. It's always 2-3degs cooler than the rest of the apartment, independent of the weather. So cool. My 3rd favourite place in my apartment would be the tiny kitchen which has about everything but I only use the electric kettle, the stove, electric slow cooker and fridge to prepare my brown rice porridge, vermicelli, omelette with cheese, instant oats and purple spinach soup with ikan bilis. Yummy.

Post-KK Day1 at work is hard. :) After such an excellent weekend of merry-making and great food, I have sort of a hang-over at work this morning. I literally fell on my bed after a quick shower last night when I arrived back in Sandakan around 9pm. I even forgot to set my alarm but luckily my internal alarm was functioning this morning. I woke up exactly at 6.30am. I'm feeling so bloated after the weekend that now I'm planning to skip dinner from now on if possible. After all I have lunch almost 2.30pm everyday.

Wow the session today was pretty heavy. Imagine slides and slides of ECGs but it was quite an experience straining my eyes and forcing myself to figure out what each ECG tracing meant with 150 other doctors and paramedics.

I'm in KK! I didn't miss KK a bit but it's nice to sink my teeth into my fav McD double-cheese burger! :) Yeah... Sandakan doesn't have McD. Good thing too la... can cut down of grease. My 3G broadband is up and going so I can practically go online anyway where there's 3G, so cool. Tomorrow is the ECG workshop and I just got good news... will be meeting up with my 2 old housemates there! They are also attending. Apparently there is going to be quite a crowd. A team from IJN will be conducting the workshop.

I love Oprah. I was watching a segment on women and their finances and it got me thinking about my own money. So I decided that I should do everything I can to maximize my income. So I started doing locum. Last long weekend alone I earned quite a bit in 4 days just doing consultation work. It's really easy money. I really thank my parents for my education. I know many people earning lesser than what I made that 4 days, in a month.

I'll be making a short trip to KK this weekend for a course, my first as a MO. It's on arrhythmia and ECG, which are excellent topics, but honestly I'm more excited to eat and shop in KK. :)

A typical day in my working life here in Sandakan would be seeing between 60-80 patients in the diabetes and hypertension clinic where I'm currently posted to now in the outpatient department.

Some days are good:

1. compliant patients

Some days are bad:

1. patients with weird, diseaseless symptoms
2. those who adjusts their own medications and come back for review with rocket high blood pressure and unrecordable sugar reading (meaning ridiculously high)
3. patients from [2] who get some scolding and do the same thing again the next time around
4. non-compliant patients
5. those who tell you (doctors) what medications they need, the dosage, what their blood test results mean and when they should come back for their reviews
6. patients who complain about that one episode of headache that lasted about 5mins 5months ago and expect you to tell them what disease they had
7. patients who treat doctors like God and leave everything about their health into our hands and do not take any accountability
8. those who insist that Ranitidine is a medication for gout!!! just, just because their "best friend" told them so
9. patients who can't speak English/Malay/Mandarin and call themselves Malaysians
10. patients who suddenly after 3years on a certain anti-hypertensive tell you that the medication causes gidiness and "lemas" but never told the previous doctors who reviewed them the last 3 years just, just because they couldn't speak English/Malay/Mandarin and keep the medication in their medication museum at home

And it goes on for this list.

The point for my entry today: it's easy to make me happy.

I'm having a great life at the moment. My move to a new town and starting my new post and moving into a new place, meeting new people. All have been good.

But all these couldn't stop my heart from aching and tears streaming down my face every time I think of Stryker.

My dear 18-year-old mongrel Stryker, the most "durable" dog in the world, succumbed to intestinal obstruction early this week.

Stryker in my life taught me one very valuable lesson: when you hope and pray for something hard enough, you'll get it, for sure. Both times I collapsed on my knees and prayed for something very hard (both times for Stryker), they miraculously came through.

Sorry Stryker I didn't know you were sick, I would have prayed harder than usual.

Hope you enjoy heaven!

My week-long break of solitude and self-pampering was a most delightful experience! It was a time of consolidating all that had happened for the past 18months since I arrived in KK. All the great moments reminisced with fondness and the not so great ones, scoffed off with a little laugh and lots of serenity.

The packing process for my great exodus to Sandakan next week was a back-breaking task. I just realized that I'm such a rubbish collector, a trait most unsuitable for an aspiring nomad/traveler.

My birthday middle of this week was better accepted than my last because I felt younger than the last one, a sign of a smooth transition of an ongoing acceptance of the aging process. And what really made my day was what the girl at the ticket counter of the cinema asked me.

"Ticket for one?" she asked, looking at me and for anyone else beside or behind me that may look like he or she was with me.

"Yup, one." I smiled at her graciously, rather used to the ticket-for-one question.

She punched in the request and asked where I would like to sit. Then...

"Your student pass?"

MY STUDENT PASS? I suddenly became acutely aware of myself. What was I wearing? My shoes? My bag?

I was wearing a simple black top with a brown floral skirt and a pair of sandals and carrying my Jacques Lacquer handbag, and my new pair of shades on my head.

Not very student baby-T and jeans and some Nike sling bag.

So, so, I must certainly still look young to her! Muahhaahhaha!

Yes, another of my bimbo moments, but I was deliriously happy. And continued to be happy throughout the very bloody Todd Sweeny: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

I found this miracle in Yogur Berry that would help with the sugar issue in my obsession with ice-cream! I'm weaning off Veda Bleu's hazel nut cream ice-cream...

Today I officially finish internship. Very happy that I'm getting a chance to mantain my manicured nails now that I don't have to be doing all the ward procedures. Very happy now that I can dress up more to work. I had one of those bimbo moments when I clocked out after my last ever ward round as an intern.

What have I learnt over the last 18months?

Nothing new, surprise, surprise! I learnt that life's too short! That I must seize the moment, every single time. That happiness IS just afterall, a habit. Nothing else.

My Crocs maryjanes are very comfy. But am not wearing it to work this month because I'm doing my ortho rotation meaning going into the operation theater meaning I have to leave my shoes outside the OT meaning there's a not so irrational fear of them getting stolen.

Not enjoying this rotation because of very little personal interest mainly, and because this department has the highest concentration of idiots unreasonable people with questionable medical knowledge. But I'm not sweating myself because I'm only doing this rotation for 4weeks. Thank God. :) But I wish at least my month would be spent acquiring some skills.

This rotation is my last before my transfer to Sandakan reporting 1FEB. I have mixed feelings, but more excitement now that I'm sure when I'm heading with the latest list out and that I've sort of settled my transfer of my things and car. What's left to worry now is my accomodation. I'm looking for an apartment or a small house to rent.

I have an idea of what my life's going to be when I get there. A colleague who's already there 2 months said that workload is bad Mon-Fri but weekends off! Coolness! That means diving, diving, diving for me! He said a typical day means 8-5, lots of patients either maternal child health or general outpatient or traveling to the small district health clinics (which all the medical officers rotate among themselves every 2months).

So that sounds pretty ok to me. I have conditioned myself not to think that I'm more suitable for hospital-based work. I need to have a new experience.

No new year resolutions. Just realization that all I need is serenity.

Will be relocating to Sandakan soon to start a new chapter of my life.

Christmas & New Year were a blast! Hope you had a great time too!

Now, wishing you all a happy going back to your life and routine!

new email add. yahoo mail sucks.

happy new year! pls note my new email add. thanks. don't bother sending mail to my yahoo mail.

 

sharon chin.

My leave just got approved this Wed! So, SO happy! That means I'll be home from 22DEC to 2JAN2008! Not only I get to be home for Christmas, I get to attend Chang's wedding! Chang's an old friend from school, joining the mass of my generation from my hometown tying the knot.

In my work place, last month alone, 4 couples got married. Another couple this month and another early 2008. Wow, is the 26 or 27 the magic number or something?

And my dearest friend Jo is already expecting her 1st child, due I think May.

And what have I been doing?

1. Work, work, work and having successive bad calls
2. Changed my hair colour again (now I'm not Sharon with red hair). I'm now spotting a chestnut brown do
3. Started watching Grey's Anatomy (I know, I know, I'm soooo ketinggalan... and I don't find Dr. McDreamy THAT good-looking)
4. Manicure, pedicure, facial and foot reflexology (I'm over-pampering myself!)
5. Appealing to work in the Casualty Dept. (long story... to make it short, it's a plan, finally, on what I'm going to do after my internship)
6. Bought a new camera, laptop and car (my dear old Wira is safely back in Kuching)
7. Passed my medical intern assessment!
8. Almost had a crush on my specialist (luckily I found out he was married on time)
9. Planning a trip to Miri to visit my godparents in 2 weeks time

My sis has put up her Christmas wish list. Here's mine:

1. Acrylic nails!
2. Eyelash extensions!
3. An eggplant flower motive tattoo! A row of them along my thoracolumbar spine! (It's an idea...)
4. The perfect pair of working shoes (I've tried them all, Hush Puppies, Clarks, Scholl, etc. but nothing can compare to my Grenada beach slippers! Yes, hush... I've been wearing slippers to work, not just any slippers, my Grenada beach slippers.) I need a pair of proper working shoes!
5. A new pair of glassess
6. The whole collection of House. I love Hugh Laurie!

I'm a simple girl.

SINCE I CAN'T POST ON YOUR BLOG, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVI!

STAY YOUR SUPER WITTY AND GORGEOUS SELF!

I found authentic Kuching laksa here in KK! It's in Taman Cantek, just a stone's throw from my apartment complex. I'm always having my noodles in a kopitiam in the same row but never ventured further, or I would have saved my mum the trouble of tapau-ing laksa all the way from Kuching when she came to visit me the last few trips.

I'm now doing my internal medicine rotation and it's kickass exciting! Especially the acute patients! Not cool for the patients, I know but it's keeping me going, you know the adrenaline rush! I'm still waiting for the opportunity to defibrilate somebody! *rubbing my palms together and spotting an evil grin*

And there's always a sense of achievement at the finishing line of each day, irregardless whether I come in 1st, 2nd or last. :)

My new pearl jade Viva! I love!

Hosted on Fotki

Mum made this collage of my sis and I a while back. It's so cute! I'm on the fast track at the moment. Very happy in my current department. And extremely happy with my current team of colleagues. We are a super team of house officers! :) I have so much to to look forward to this week. Getting myself a new pearl jade Viva! Trying out for the Sabah health dept. tennis team tomorrow. Trying out my 1st locum. Will start swimming again after a hiatus to let my new tattoo heal... I didn't mention that I got a new tattoo when I was back in Kuching in September?

lazy, originally uploaded by sharonhappymorgue.

Last week my team at the Male Chronic Ward had a very denerving experience. A young man came in with jaundice and gross ascites in renal failure and was encephalopathic. 3 of us had to restrain and sedate him to put in an IV branulla for meds and fluids. And we couldn't get any history from him, so we just worked him up and settled all his acute problems.

My poor colleague had a needle-stick injury while doing a peritoneal tap for the patient. I was so disturbed when she suddenly came up to me at the counter and told me about it. In retrospect, I was more disturbed than my collegue. I urged her to take all the needle-stick injury steps and inform the Infectious Disease Team. NOTHING was known about the patient's infectious disease status.

The following day, the patient's Retrovirus screen test came back REPEATEDLY REACTIVE. That means POSITIVE. My friend just broke down and ran somewhere to hide, to go through the brief denial phase.

For the subsequent 2-3 hours, there was dead silence among us. A part of me felt like the world had become dark and gloomy shrouded with despair and uncertainty. The other part was praying so hard to God, thanking Him that just a few minutes ago, my blood-taking session with that patient had been uneventful.

I know that we hear about this all the time, but I felt so unprepared and surprisingly very affected.

We are doing what we are doing to help people isn't it? Was this necessary? And that night it was quite hard to sleep even though I was terribly tired.

But we picked ourselves up and went on working the following day and the following day after that. My colleague can smile and laugh today, but it's such a heavy, heavy cross she's carrying.

It's Hari Raya today and I'm having a fine day resting at home after a brief morning round in the 1st class ward of only 7 patients under my care. Since Thursday I've been relocated to the 1st class ward and haematology reverse isolation rooms to cover a colleague who's flown home to west Malaysia for the festivity.

It's really very relaxing, minimal blood-taking, and patients are ridiculously well actually. 2 were discharged yesterday but "prefers to stay until Monday", citing that their families were not around over the raya weekend. What can I do? If the specialists don't insist them to leave the hospital, I can't.

And I had a fairly good call on Thursday. 3 admissions after 12MN, but I actually enjoyed the whole experience. One came in with acute exacerbation of COAD, another presented with chest pain and palpitations and the 3rd presented with sudden onset of deep jaundice.

Maybe after going through obstetrics and gynae where clerking is at its barest minimum, clerking again in medical posting reminded me of my student time and I realized that it was actually very fun to go through all the possible differentials when asking about a particular symptom. The brain is working eagerly and excitedly in the wee hours of the morning.

And I'm still challenging myself to keep my composure and my PATIENCE, particularly with patients who's defaulted again and again, and coming in periodically with near-death experince, leaving me wondering in the world why their brains were not well-formed in utero.

Did the coolest thing today after work and went to the zoo. With my new Canon PowerShot S5IS. 2 weeks into medical posting and I'm quite happy though I'm dizzily busy, till the point of self-neglect. I'm looking so undesirable nowadays. Hehe. And my room, oh my God. Just heard from an old friend from home. He's tying the knot in December. Whoa. I'm invited to the wedding reception and all. I'm strangely worried that I'm not sure what I want to do after MOship later. I don't have any inclination. I enjoy all my postings. I've crossed path with a very special individual who's challenged me to re-evaluate my values and my attitude towards my vocation as a doctor.

I'm still alive

IMG_0362.JPGsm, originally uploaded by sharonhappymorgue.

Now doing my medical posting. BUSY, but quite happy with the department. And oh ya, I'm officially a HO/MO now! Time flies!

Was back in Kuching for a wonderful week! Sorry didn't call up anyone. Just enjoyed my time with my family. Will be back for Christmas.

Went to Telupid for another medical camp last weekend.

Crappy news: Lost my RM600/- dive watch. :~~( Can't figure out how it happened. Will continue looking for it. Please pray that I find it.

Pictures another time!