Happy by myself

Haha! My friend Chris was so sweet that she asked whether I wanted to be "set up" with a guy, because she knew someone, who knew him well... I think because I led her and some friends to believe that I had this HUGE crush on him. But I explained to her that to me crushes are just crushes, you know. Not a soul would know that I really have the hots a guy because it's just my style. If I go on and on about a guy openly, it's just a crush. I can go on and on for years and years liking a guy without anyone knowing it. That's just me, though it doesn't sound very intelligent, yes?

Crushes are exciting, but love is sacrificial, in good way (but not the Godly or religious way, k). I feel humble and selfless when I'm in love. I don't get silly or bimboish when I'm in love. I get to be that when I have a crush. When I'm in love, things a very sane and respectful and I learn stuff about myself, what I'm capable of doing, the worst and best of me. It may not sound very exciting or even conventional, but I guess I'm not such a wild-child at heart that I've imagined myself to be. I'm probably just very plain after all. :)

So when I was replying her mail, I realized that I'm not in love with anyone at the moment. Not even interested in anyone... :) I've come to this point in life when I'm just very comfortable being by myself. Happy by myself. When I think about my near future, I see myself living my dreams, like watching Federer play on Rod Laver arena, joining Medecins Sans Frontieres, joining a safari, traveling, writing, being this hotshot forensic specialist... :)

Anyways, thanks for the thought.