What a short holiday

I'm leaving for KK in 2 hours time. Can't say I'm thrilled about it having to leave the comfort of home, my family, nice local food... and all my new friends. But as sick as it may sound, I'm actually looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. And I'm excited that I'm doing 3rd call tomorrow... which means OT call and covering my other colleagues doing 1st, 2nd and 3rd calls. Quite lepak la unless too many admissions I have to step in. My main job for 3rd call is to assist in any emergency operations during the night. And I'm oncall with my current ward MO who's really cool.

I'm hoping he would let me do appendicectomy.



That's Bruce the kitten (who my parents picked up at the Badruddin Road traffic light, now adopted by my aunt) and Leon their Scottish Fold. Cute eh?

Something big is happening in my family. Dying to write about it but timing's out a little. Maybe this weekend after work.

Cheers!

Pictures, pictures, pictures!

Congratulations to my old pal from school Joyce the Ho! She looked stunning last night. The guy who tamed her, Dr. Fong, a really calm and composed guy, who spoke very eloquently and was, as expected, quite the opposite of our Joyce the Ho. But I'm really, really happy for Joyce.



All my best wishes deary! I want to see little Joyces running around and tugging your skirt the next time we meet ya. :) And eating ice-cream and throwing a tantrum. :)



This is really the break I needed. :) And I just got great news from a colleague about an hour ago! I passed my exam! Sooooooooooo happy! :) I was quite sure that I flunked my 2nd question, but Francis said that I had a clear pass. :) Such blessing from God! So definitely I'll be moving on to my next posting 21 January 2007, most probably paediatrics.

It's paradoxically a little sadenning as well because I realized that my surgery days as a HO are numbered and that I won't have the comfort of being a 1st poster anymore.



I have a new friend, Teddy. :)



He's my new beau. ;)

Kuching

Damn I can't sleep in. I woke up exactly at 4.30am.

It's really good to be home in clean and civil Kuching. Hehe. In terms of cleanliness, we all agree that Kuching has no rivals. In terms of civility, I think KK people have a lot of catching up to do.

Anyways, I just got my first pay yesterday, before flying back home! I finally found a place near my apartment to get my car aircond fixed, and was told that my car's cooling coil was a mess. So everything would cost me RM448! I was thinking shit I only had RM500 in my account... but what the heck better get it fixed and after all I was flying home in the afternoon. Drove to the bank and was pleasantly surprised that I got 2 months pay! Yipee! Got my damn aircond fixed and even asked the guy in the shop whether there was anything else to be fixed... he said my car condenser looked a little weary but would still hold up for now, but be prepared to change it soon... that would cost me about 500-700.

Ok.

Got to Terminal 2 (Air Asia) about 90mins before my flight. What a war zone. I waited to be checked in for almost 2 hours! Air Asia was off line so, they didn't have any Plan B to handle situation like that. All the flights around the time of my flight was delayed around 30mins.

I think they are just making us suffer for the cheap rates we are getting. I got my return tickets for around RM190! If I fly MAS, that would cost me RM500! So mum said not to complain too much.



The moment I landed in Kuching, all I could think off was food. I told my parents I wanted to eat laksa, chau chai hu nam, Indian food at Ammah Curry house, ice kacang at Hui Sing, kiam hu tu bak at Petanak Market and etc.

And I only have 4 and a half days.

But for dinner we went to a new place serving curry fish head as their specialty. My treat. But we ended loving the salted fish with pork and fried kway teow. The curry fish head was ok, but my family has high threshold for spicy and salty food, so my dad thought it was little tasteless.

After dinner we off to meet my newest cuz! Pepper! A 7-month-old Bull Mastif mix. She's so loving and adorable!



That's my present for Pepper. That piece of rag cost me RM12.80. It's a wonder how the manufacturers were so sure that doggies would like it.



Pepper completely abandoned my dad (who was her fav) and started hanging out with me! :)



This is Pepper's story: Given up by previous owner because she was too destructive and disobedient. Oferred to my aunt, but she thought Pepper looked kurap so she didn't want to adopt her. Then offered to my uncle, who already had 3 other dogs. But Pepper was too adorable. :) Now I have a new cuzzie.



She loves me!



My uncle's old Rottweiller, Sheba developed generalized paresis after a brief bout of illness for about 5 weeks now. Now she's completely dependent on my uncle and his family for everything. It's only this week that she's able to pick up her head and now she's back to her old agressive self, barking very ferociously when strangers come by to the house or the postman. But she still can't stand up. It actually drove my uncle into depression because like my dad, most of my uncles are truest and most genuine animal lovers. It just kills him that Sheba may not have a very good quality of life if she doesn't recover from this.



So every night my dad would go over to my uncle's place to help with Sheba's rehabilitation. When I saw what they did last night, I realized it was truly a labour of love... how they strap the custom-made vest (which cost my uncle about RM500) and mount Sheba's 50+kg of muscle and mostly fat onto the custom-made "wheelchair", according to my uncle. They went online a did some research of how to build the wheelchair because they didn't really know who to consult in Kuching about Sheba's condition. Her vet just said that her condition was most probably permanent.



They told me that Sheba has improved quite a bit. She's lifting her head now, and her hind paws are actually in the stance position... it used to be like her front paws, in the flexed position.



My dad now is Sheba's faithful and dedicated physiotherapist. But my uncle said that they are bringing in an acunpunturist this weekend for her. I really didn't say anything. My thoughts were that my uncle would feel much better if he felt that he was doing everything he can to help Sheba, which was the most important. Sheba was not suffering. She's actually enjoying all the attention she's getting. She actually dozed off when my dad was exercising her limbs.



That's mum and I with Pepper. We colour coordinated with her last night. :)

So much things to do at home and so little time, but I'm determined to make the full use of it. I have a facial appointment this afternoon. Think of doing something to my hair.

But first laksa for breakfast. But my mum and Pheobe are still asleep. Don't care. Will wake them up.

Going home next week!

Yipee! Tomorrow is my last day in Neurosurgery! Eventhough my stupid MO "threatened" to keep me for another 4 weeks. Crazy pig. He's just pretending, I think actually he likes me as his HO, because I get his dirty jobs done, especially making silly referrals to other departments for conditions that even our department should be able to manage. So embarassing some times... getting scolded or ridiculed by MOs from other departments, but it helps when I'm a girl I guess, so some of the male MOs actually felt sorry for me because I have to do the stupid referrals. :) What to do? If already no place to put my face, have to use the demsel in distress act.

I'm learning to be more cunning in this field. All for the sake of the patient. Everything for them.

But unfortunately I lost my temper twice this week. But thinking about it now makes me so regretful.

One patient's brother-in-law kept on ranting on and on about their financial constraints and how he couldn't time off work and that he was so busy and all and always demanded to speak to the doctors.

I was so fucking pissed off with him. In a raised but fairly controlled tone, I gave him a piece of my mind. Even the staff nurses (who love me by the way) felt very uneasy, and even scared(?)

And the second time was with another patient's dad, who kept on complaining about his comatous son passing hard, stool, soft stool, straining on defecation, etc, you know the normal stuff, and he would be so inconsiderate to interrupot doctors and nurses even during emergency or resuscitation just to conmplain.

He also I gave a piece of my mind. And he kept on apologizing after that.

I felt a sense of relief after that because at first I thought I did everyone a favour in the ward, but now I really do feel lousy about that 2 incident.

I don't have a high EQ after, as Adeline used to praise me constantly about.

And my level of vulgarity has increased exponentially as well.

I know I can be quite intimidating, but I never realized my super power. People listen. Even during the departmental meeting, when I spoke, everybody kept absolutely silent to hear me out. I was quite amazed. Maybe because I've been keeping a low profile for the last 2 months.

Then departmental meeting. My total fine for 2 months came up to RM94! Shit man, seriously. I mean we work our asses off and the stupid sisters in the ward (who by the way do nothing everyday) looks for stuff to fine us the HOs. Some of my colleagues' fines went as high as RM120! AARRGGHHH!!!

According to my head of department, the fines would go to a fund to buy paper and some other stationery, and to our "Surgical Night" on the December 1st.

I won't go even if they pay me back all the "fine" they extorted from me, and on top of that give me 1 million ringgit, I still won't go.

And I'm going to volunteer to be oncall that night, I don't mind. For free also I don't mind. 1st call some more I also don't mind. With the bitchy surgeon also I don't mind.

As long as I don't have to go for the dinner.

Why should I spent my precious hospital-free time with hospital people? And pretend to be jolly and happy? Crazy. I might be neurotic, but I AM NOT CRAZY, ok?

But I would rather go oncall? Ok, maybe a little crazy.

Then I have exam on Monday after work. So not excited about it. As a first poster, I get 2 chances to sit for the exam. So if I fail this one, I get to sit for another one next month. But for the other 2nd, 3rd and 4th posters, they only get one chance. If they fail, they automatically get extended 1 month. For 5th posters, they are expected to pass, but they wouldn't actually get extended because they have to be sent to the district hospitals once there time for surgery is up.

But I'm not sweating about it. Seniors said just to be clear about management of certain conditions in the ward, because questions are practical things, few things are from the books really. I guess I just need to sit down and imagine scenarios after scenarios of different conditions and see 9if I can manage them well.

I'm so not going to read from my textbook.

2 things to look forward to next week:

(1) I'll be in Mr. V's ward for 4 weeks starting Monday! And I'm estatic, eventhough my housemates didn't think that if was a great thing.

"Sharon, I thought you said you are over him..."

I am la. But I'm still deliriously happy. :)

And I'm so motivated to learn more, and work harder.

If I can get to the wards 5.45am for Neurosurgery, eventhough I hated it like hell, I'm sure I'm willing to do much more for my Mr. V. I'll make sure I get everything done and sorted out for all my patients. I promise to know every single detail about each and every patient in my ward, and I'm going to be more daring to ask to do more procedures and assist in operations. And I'm going down to the clinics more often.

Wahlau. So motivated. :)

Then I'm flying home to Kuching on Thursday!!! I can't wait to touch my darling Pheobe fur coat again after slightly more than 2 months away from my dearie.

I was telling 2 of my male colleagues who loved to irritate me that both their lives combined weren't even worth my doggie's tip of the tail.

They found it so funny, but what the 2 silly guys didn't know was that I really meant it.

One of them was getting too friendly with me. A little bit too physical, so I'm sending him a message to keep his hands to himself.

And I was stalked by a Urology uncle in the ward when I was oncall the other night and by a patient's son.

The Urology uncle kept on staring at me when I was over at his bed to review him. He asked me whether I was Eurasian. I said no and said good night, but that whole night he was following me around the ward, and he kept staring at me. I thought I was in the psychiatry ward. And the patient's son kept of greeting me the whole day, and would pretend to ask emquestions about his mother (even though she wasn't my patient) and loved to brush himself against me in the crowded female ward.

Very sick. The problem was he was very courteous and he knew how to pretend very well, so I couldn't scold him or anything. I would look like a perasan bitch if I did.

Glad now I'm permanently in the male ward. Except maybe later in my 4th month Urology in the female ward, but by then that patient would be gone or sent to the extension ward.

Today I'm going to chill out and clean my dirty room. It's so gross now. I feel like I'm living in a straight guy's apartment. So unbecoming for a 25-year-old SINGLE female.

And I need to iron all my clothes for the week. I've been too lazy to iron that I've been resorting to wearing my solid colour lycra tops with plain skirts on a daily basis. Luckily I have many colours.

When I get my pay, I'm going to buy lots and lots of clothes. I'm just bored with recycling all my clothes.

Ok, keying off now. I'll be blogging from home next week. Wish me luck in my exam and my new posting at Mr. V's ward. Pray that I don't fall back in love with him. And lastly, pray for my sanity. Thanks!

Super sensitive me.

What a see-saw week!

My neurosurgery posting began quite disastrously.

My MO is a very crude man. He doesn't speaks, he commands. He doesn't ask, he demands, and he doesn't believe, he suspects.

Neurosurgical patients are a hassle to review. Checking their GCS is a chore, especially those who refuses to cooperate or purposely playing dead, and poor me have to cajoule them every day so that I won't have to record a drop in their GCS. GCS is a scoring system to grade a person's consciousness. 15/15 means alert and very conscious. And you can't get anymore comatous with a 3/15. Then sometimes when the patient wants my attention (after I ignore her for a while) she starts banging her pulse oximetry on the metal bars of her bed or slides the detector off her thumb and the oxygen saturation drops and the pulse oximeter starts beeping. Damn those vegetables!

My MO never lets me finish any of my sentences and he is so impatient, and I feel so hurt that he doesn't trust me even a little bit. There was a patient who had a MVA and was sent to the surgical ward but it was not specified whether the patient was admitted to genertal surgery of neurosurgery, so my MO asked me to clerk the patient and process her... but after he left the MO for general surgery came and started assessing the patient and the HOs told me that the patient was under them, so I didn't clerk the patient. My MO came back and asked me why I didn't clerk the patient, so I explained the simple fact that she was under general surgery.

"You sure ah Sharon? Are you sure that the patient is under general surgery?"

I was SO MAD.

What the fuck?

I said, "Dr. S, come with me."

I brought him to the general surgery HO at the nurses' station.

I said to the HO, "Dr. L, please tell Dr. S that the patient is under your unit. He doesn't believe me."

My MO gave me a jaw-dropping expression.

"Sharon, you're too much la. Accusing me of not believing you."

And then he smiled.

During the afternoon rounds, he offered me a sweet, but I didn't want it because I just brushed my teeth after lunch.

He was little taken aback I guess. "Sharon, I know you hate me. But don't be like that la. We have to work together."

I just feel very misunderstood all over again. I think it's just my face la. Or I'm just a bad pretender.

And he shoved the strawberry sweet into my hand.

And I threw it away after the evening rounds.

Then the following day I was called to paeds surgery because a patient was (?)fitting and the regular HO there was called to the casualty to escort a patient. The 11month-old child was not fitting but having a really bad bout of spasm. I called MO I, he didn't pick up. I called MO II, he asked me to call paeds MO, but paeds MO was away in another hospital and he said that my neurosurgical MO should attend to the patient stat and do whatever necessary first until he gets there. Then I called MO III, and he came (thank God) immediately. (I should have called him first la). So we resuscitated the poor child together and luckily he stabilized.

MO III asked me document EVERYTHING that happened. So I wrote EVERYTHING la, including calling MO I and MO II.

MO I was very angry at me. Cornered me after evening rounds and scolded me and even threatened me a little. I was so hurt. What did I do wrong? I was very upset that evening, so another senior HO explained that we sometimes have to "bend" a little when we are working.

That night I couldn't sleep, so I sent MO I a very, very long sms to tell him how I felt and that he treated me badly and unfairly considering that I was new and what I did was the right thing to do. He replied simply that everything was alright and that I should get a good night sleep.

The next day he was super nice to me. Taught me about everything that came up in each patient. Even gave me some homework to do so that we could discuss the following morning.

So that's settled.

But really la, I hate, I mean REALLY hate neurosurgery. It's a field where humans try to play God, and fail miserably. It's a field of empty promises. Most of the brain tumour patient end up vegetables after debulking.

Dr. V is back into the picture. Yesterday I was eating alone in the cafe when he walked in. He initially walked to the table beside me where there were several MOs, but he turned to my table and said, "Hi Sharon, I'll join you since you're alone."

I could only say, "Hi Mr. V." and tried to swallow a huge lump in throat.

He was eating something I've never seen before, so I asked what was that he was eating.

"It's idli. You're malaysian and you don't know idli." he said with a smile.

He then cut a piece of his idli and gave it to me.

I was surprised, but my spinal cord reflex was to fork the piece of idli and eat it.

"Hmm... that's good!" I exclaimed. And I could see his face lighten up.

Dr. V is so brotherly.

Then we chatted for a while. He asked me about how I was doing, whether I'm enjoying my current posting, etc. And just before another group of surgeons arrive at my table with their food trays, he said, "Sharon, if you want to do surgery next time, give me a call, wherever you are."

And there it was. We had broken up. But I was happy.

I just kept quiet after that, surrounded by 3 other surgeons and the head of department and several MOs. I heard Dr. V asking another surgeon how to bath a baby and that his first child was due next March.

I was happy for him, happy that he was happy.

:)

And the subsequent days of neurosurgey just seemed very fluid. And I looked more radiant too, even post call. My friends noted.

And Dr. Bear is now calling me "Sharon" instead of "Sharon Chin", so that's a start. :)

And my housemate, Pei Ling made me very happy last night because she said this after I was reading her something I wrote.

"Sharon, you would have been a good writer or journalist. What a waste."

I was happy because I for the first time, someone made me feel like that I could have been doing something else well and that being a sucky HO does not mean that I was hopeless. I don't feel mush regrets, maybe just I have many "what if"s.

I would sum my whole week as a very profound journey of self-discovery. I leanrt that I'm a very sensitive person. I don't take criticism (especially unjust ones) very well. And my OCDs have to go. You know my MO forced me write ugly and faster, and I was so upset the whole day. And I still haven't wean off liquid paper. He told me not to use liquid paper, but I couldn't resist. Those cross out words are getting to me. But this morning I wrote quite ugly and I quickly closed the case files and proceeded to the next patent, and it got easier as I moved along with each patient.

To answer Bren's question: What's the difference between married and very married?
Very married means happily married and still in love. But married or very married, married men are off limits. Period. I'm better than that.

Ok, have a productive week ahead! I'm on call again tomorrow. I hope nobody dies on me.

Learning the hard way

Post call again. Had my first neurosurgery call. Was very agitated and nervous the several days preceding my first real-life experience with traumatic head injury, skull fracture and comatose patients. The only great thing is the blood-taking bit. Poked wherever that was convenient to ME. No reservations. :) They don't complain, obviously. :)

Had my first brush with a hyperkalaemic patient with ECG changes. Way cool for me because I couldn't believe I actually saw all the typical hyperkalaemic changes printed in front of me as the ECG machine were recording the electrical activities of the poor man's heart. Tented T waves, small P waves and widened QRS complex. Just like in exam. And potassium came back 6.0. I quickly came my MO a call and asked him to give me the go to start on the Tripple regime. He said ok, and 4 hours later, a repeat ECG saw all the changes just completely resolved.

Amazing.

The poor patient could have died, but the thing that bothered me was my initial hesitation to call my MO despite being very sure that the changes were hyperkalaemic changes. I took a minute and doubted myself. That could have cost the man his life. I realized that I should have buried the fear of being wrong and risk being reprimanded and just call my damn MO. All for the patient, all for the patient.

My seniors said that we learn most of the things we need to know the hard way, which is quite unacceptable to me. If we can learn things the easy way, why shouldn't we? We shouldn't have to constantly risk people's lives to learn stuff and be more competent.

For my call, I brought 2 textbooks and a medical emergency handbook, which were my source of some sense of security.

Tomorrow onwards I'll be doing neurosurgery rotation for 2 weeks. Yes, the silly head of HOs gave me a neurosurgical call even before I had any experience in neurosurgery. But I feel much braver after yesterday's call. Slept only from 3am to 6am this morning. And I had to cover paediatric surgery as well. 3 children in the ward last night were having electrolyte imbalances as well. Luckily the Paediatric MO on call (who I had to constantly call up throughout the day and night to inform him of the children's progress) was nice and very patient. After 2 phone calls, I knew what to present to him, the info he needed to shorten the telephone conversation, and with each call, I could sense he trusted me. That was a bonus.

Great news! I've finally weaned off my very married (and father-to-be) Dr. V! Because I've found a new target! My friends are disgusted with me. How can I unlike someone so fast?!

Not so easy la bitches. It takes so much courage and many episodes of shortness of breath to finally accept the fact that I can't like him (and can't have him) because he's very married.

My new target is my very new MO, who just joined the surgical department from casualty department. Such a gentleman! And such a great teacher as well. He could tell that I was still kinda blur, especially the other my first time in the OT. And my first time assisting in a thyroidectomy. He took time to tell me where to get the forms to fill, what to prepare, etc. Later in the ward, he taught me how to write a better review, and the important stuff that should be included. And I could see how my understanding of what I'm doing in the wards day in and day out increasing exponentially.

Now I get my role as a HO. We are quite important after all.

Let's call my new crush Dr. Bear. :)

Maybe I just like nurturing guys. And he's such a gentle person! And he speaks so calmly too! *dreamy* The funny thing is that physically he's so completely the opposite in terms of physical attributes to Dr. V. Dr. V was beanpole tall with very serious expression on his face. Dr. Bear just has a very purposeful and kind face, and he's not that much taller than me, and has a heavy built, but I wouldn't call him fat. Just like a cute Teddy Bear.

The problem is, I don't know his "status". So what if he's married kan, some of you might say, if I just want to have a crush on him. But I can't. It's just my thing. I have OCD in many aspects of my lifestyle, and this is just one of them. :)

I flying home for a short break end of the month! Can't wait! Miss my family and my doggies at home, and my cousin Cynthia just got herself a Bull Mastif puppy she named Pepper!!! My dad sent me a picture and I thought he was adorable! I can't wait to squeeze him and kiss him! I can't post the picture now though because the internet cafe terminals has a weird OS... can't use the My Computer part... so I can't save anything into my handy drive and open any files from the it either.

I'm absolutely tired now, but I don't want to "waste" my weekend by sleeping because by 6.30am tomorrow morning, I have to be in the wards again. I have 15hours left to do non-work related things.

After this I want to get something done with my hair, haven't quite decided what. Yes, maybe I'll colour my hair, maybe streak it. :) I want to pamper myself a little because I start looking like a mess, usually half-way through my week, and I'm on call again this coming Thurs and Sunday.

Have asked my mum to make an appointment for a facial in Kuching for me when I get back.

And when I get my pay, I need to do some serious shopping for clothes!

I forgot to mention that the real reason why I'm going home end of this month is to attend an old schoolmate's wedding reception! People, Joyce Ho is tying the knot!

I don't know whether to cry in happiness for her or cry in despair for myself. Ehehehe. So I guess I'll be crying in happiness. :)

There's this one spinster doctor that everyone hates in the hospital. Even she is dating, OH MY GOD.

Ok, better key off here. Thank you guys for all your comments! Miss you all! I've been to your sites, but am not leaving any comments for now. Take care!

The doggie magic

I'm keeping track of patients' urine output twice a day and making sure that that they are not too concentrated, and I've been having concentrated urine for almost a week.

I'm trying to drink more every day but every time I have the time to take a big gulp, it's like like 5-6 hours lapsed my last drink.

Yesterday was post-call. But I managed an amazing 3 hours of undisturbed sleep during my call! All the oncall admissions came at reasonably decent times, and none were critically ill. And I had my fav MO oncall with me. Fav because he's the most reliable, and he would give clear and detailed instructions, no ambiguity and room for guessing games, and he would come to see the patient very quickly if I raise the red flag. And he covered me several times when there were some ambiguity on my part.

And secondly, he let me play with his doggies! :) Yes, yesterday, post-call, I had my buddy Wendy chaffeur me around KK looking for a pet shop to get some rawhid for the doggies. He has one adult rotweiller, three 7-month-old roitwellers (which were the same size as the adult one) and 1 dalmatian! They were so cute! But they were terribly rough and after only 20mins of palying with them, I was dead tired, and I was drenched with doggie saliva, paw prints on my clothings, scratches everywhere, and a very heavy heart.

I miss my deary Pheobe at home!

To remedy that, I officiated the swimming pool at my apartment complex with a midnight swim last night! :) I had Wendy sitting poolside watching my stuff, and keeping eye on peverts. Nolah. :) It was dark, no lights, so I don't think anyone saw.

Even if anyone did, nothing la also. Initially I was told that it would be quite "strange" to swim in the apartment complex pool because half the population there are hospital staff; specialists, MOs and other interns.

But I figured that if I was sniffing glue or having public sex, then I should worry. Swimming shouldn't be problem. I know it's Malaysia, but swimming is not immoral

"There goes that immoral intern again. How could she swim in the pool?!"

I imagine them lamenting.

Besides, I can't drive 12km everyday to Likas Sports Centre, where there's a gorgeous, gorgeous pool, but a yucky yucky toilet, and showers with no place to hang anything.

I'm thinking of playing with my MO's dogs again, today, but I don't want him to find me irritating. Let me work up the courage later to ask whether I could go to his place and play with his dogs again. He doesn't need to be at home mah. His maid knows me and can let me just play with the dogs at the backyard.

I hung out with Wendy yesterday and I felt very happy, despite she being a little down these couple of weeks. There's something just genuinely nice and sincere about her. She'll tell me anything, answer any of my stupid questions.

I was asking her whether she thought I was weird, because some of my colleagues in my ward commented that I was weird. She said no lar. Maybe a little wacky at times. I just like to think that I'm a little expressive. But I behave appropriately with time and situation.

And I notice sometimes people laugh with the things I say eventhough I did not mean for the things to be funny.

Funny.

On a happier note, Dr. V came to the ward the other day for rounds with the consultant. I caught him looking at me. I was hidden behind the nurses' counter, writing a referral letter. Then later half-way though the rounds, he came to the counter and stood behind me. He was flipping through the stuff around me, looking for paper.

"Hi Sharon. How are doing?"

"I'm fine Dr. V, thank you. How are you?" I couldn't help beaming I think.

"I'm good, I'm good."

My other colleagues looked suspiciously at my red face. Shit. Cover up, cover up. Continue writing referral letter.

One of my colleagues later said, "Why look for paper all the way here? Get la the nurses to get him some..."

I didn't care. The stupid paper just made my day. :)

I'm craving for Indian food now la. And I want a large glass of Mango lassi. Yummy!

I need to enjoy my Sunday before tomorrow. Hope you guys enjoy yours too! Cheers!

Pictures from home!

Decided to use my internet time to send a long email to my parents. They sent me these 2 pictures. :) The cat is a stray they stumbled upon at a traffic light. My dad picked him up and now he's adopted by my aunt, and now he's called Bruce. What an ugly little thing, but I love his sattelite dish ears!! Cute!!



























That's my new car in Kuching! I'm now driving my parents' old Wira in KK. But it's cool because I'm just so used to that old thing. But I'm turning into a KK driver! Aiks.

I just came from the Likas Sports centre after a miserable 15 laps swim. I was cramping quite badly so I decided to go slow. But it did lift some of that heaviness that I've been carrying around for the last couple of days. I wish that the sports centre wasn't so far away. I can't wait for the pool in my condo to get serviced soon. It's been out of comission for the last 2 weeks.

The 12-year-old girl is doing well. The lady with haematuria is still bleeding, but markedly less. I just sent a lady with TB lymphadenopathy home this morning, with still an ascitic abdomen. I just sutured her peritoneal tap site and sent her home to Pitas, some 3-4 hours from KK, and hoped that she would continue her anti-TB treatment in her district hospital and not default her appointment with us in 2 months time.

And it's about time I leant to scrub tomorrow. After 5 weeks as an intern in surgery, I've not been inside the OT yet! It's just crazy in the wards and the clinics, but I think it's about time I start with OT.

My next call in Friday, with the infamous Chainsaw surgeon, which is worth not even a paragraph of my blog, except that her existence in my lifetime is God's trial for me.

Ok, keying off. Want to look for some more food. Which reminds me. In another post I want to talk about my housemate, the girl who does not have a stomach.

Cheers!

Insignificant middle man

I had a bad call yesterday. Didn't get even a minute of sleep. And I had only 3 critical patients.

One was a 12-year-old girl with a thrombus (blood clot) in her left leg, and she was in agonizing pain the whole day yesterday. The first surgical team that saw her planned that she was to be heparinized (blood-thinning therapy to dissolve the clot) for a day and if that didn't work, they were to proceed with surgery.

So I was the intern to monitor her heparin infusion, and take her blood every 2 hours to check for clotting time. And the poor girl was very uncooperative because she's been poked too, too many times. A skinny, scrawny girl with a failing heart on top of her blood clot in her left leg.

That was fine because she became my main focus the whole day.

The second surgical team came in at 10pm at night and was very unhappy with the plan of management.

"What the hell are you guys doing with this patient?" He yelled at me.

I was a little taken aback, because as far as I know, I'm just following the surgeon's plan. So I explained what the other surgeon ordered.

"I'm not angry with you Sharon, but seriously, what are you guys doing with this girl?"

So his team changed the management and went agressive with heparinization. So I had to switch mode and set a new target for the patient.

But guess what? the following morning (this morning), the first team that saw her took a look at the plan drawn out by the team from last night, and thought that it was not good enough, and changed it again. Fuck. I seriously don't care what they think is best, or which school of thoughts they follow. Just do right by the patient. Fucking assholes la.

But for now that's not my problem. I've handed it over to the intern oncall today. Poor girl. I just will follow up on her tomorrow morning.

Then when all the other interns who were not on call left for the day, the Urology (study of the urinary system) team handed over a lady with blood in her urine. She was not bleeding as heavily when they were around... but when they left, she started to bleed very heavily, the bottle that was collecting her flushed bladder was turbid with blood. And the staff nurse alerted me that the patient complained of diziness. So I assessed her, and she was tachycardic, and very pale.

Shit. I quickly went through her notes and noted that she was already tranfused 5 pines of packed cells in a district hospital before she was transfered to Queen Elizabeth.

I quickly took her blood for Hb level and to cross match some blood because I knew she had to be transfused. The irrigation that she was on was not stopping her bleeding, somewhere in her urinary tract, the Urology team still hadn't got a clue what her problem was.

I called to inform my MO, and he sort of dismissed me as a little over-reacting, even laughing a little when I toild him that I cross-matched 5 pines of packed cells. (Her Hb level in the District Hospital dropped to 4.0! So I don't think I was being over-reacting) He came only like 5 hours later. And when he finally saw the patient, he was upset with me. He said,

"Sharon, the patient's not doing well. She's tachycardic. Transfuse her tonight. You should have done something for her earlier" (It was already 3am when he came). I guess he was also a little panicky because he had to answer to the Urologist come morning if anything had happened to the patient.

Like fucking what?! I can't just transfuse her without the green light from my MO, especially when she's already been transfused so much for the last 3 days. My MO could have come earlier when I called him to assess the patient, so something could have been done earlier.

But anyways, I suspect if I had transfused her without the ok from my MO, I wouldn't have been praised either.

But it's all for the patient, I keep reminding myself. Do right by the patient. I feel better already just thinking about that.

The other consolation. My MO was a hot one. :) So when he was lecturing me, I just concentrated on his facial features. Yummy. Muahahahah!

The 3rd patient was a case of interstinal obstruction. I have managed a few since I started working, so I was not so worried about her. But it was the timing I guess. Came in around 3.30am. Had to run around getting her worked up to rpepare her for emergency surgery.

It's tough because I needed to make sure that the heparin infusion for the 12-year-old was given acurately and on time because we were puzzled as to why she remained unanti-coagulated fro 12 hours despite continuous infusion and a few boluses. The nursing staff are nice, but they don't have the concept of how certain things are urgent and some of critical. To them, extra work means extra work.

My surgeon would be calling me several times through the night to ask me trace her results and asking me to make adjustments to her heparin doses. and Then finish each call by saying, "Sharon, go get some rest."

??? How ? It's the thought that counts.

---

So post-call luckily today is public holiday so I had the afternoon off after morning work is done. Got home, slept couple of hours, and then wanted to swim. The condo pool was being serviced, so can't swim there. Drove 12km to Likas Sports Centre to swim, it's closed. I forgot, it's Monday. Shit. Close tomorrow also. Wednesday then la.

And I'm oncall coming Friday. Luckily. I can't face another oncall if it had been sooner. Last week was oncall every other day. So fortunately this week only 2 days.

So since I can't destress with swimming, I drove to this internet cafe just to destress. :) And it's working, thank God.

Now hungry. Want to eat Japanese, Italian and McD. How? And I want to pee but I wearing my swim suit under, a bit hard to pee.

Other than work, I'm perfectly fine. My left toe reminds me constantly that I need to slow down. And I want to learn to be more relaxed. I don't actually feel panicky, but I get people telling me to relax, to chill. Is it my face ang\d my actions, or is it just how panicky feels like?

Other better key off now. It starts getting dark around 6.30 freaking pm here in KK. I need to find food.

Week 4

I just couldn't wait to leave the ward this morning. I had so many things planned out for today, but all went down the drain. I wanted to get my Streamyx thingy done in my apartment, and I promised a friend to chauffer her around to get her car purchase done, and I was supposed to go for a pinic with my colleagues in the afternoon. Nada. Everything had to be canceled because as a doctor, my life is second to my work.

I may sound whiny and all but there's a tinge of pride with that. Who in their freaking sane minds would be so dumb to study so many years and then spend the prime time of their lives working their butts off like there's nothing else in the world to do?

I attended my first department meeting yesterday afternoon. No, no... it's not all formality and blood donation drives or suturing workshop (because surgery mah)... instead, it's interns revert back into medical students time.

I'm in the "department of fines", I quote my head of department. Write trade name of drugs, fine RM1. Don't write duration of drug, fine RM1. Don't check resuscitation trolley, fine RM5. Take extra blood and store in the refrigerator, fine RM10 each bottle, but if nobody owns up, each intern gets fine RM1. And I think there are about 30 of us.

We are so busy running around getting ward work done (blood taking, getting appointments for some imaging studies, tracing investigation results, etc.). But on Fridays we have to attend CME in the morning, intern lecture at 10am, then grand rounds at 11am, then in the afternoon at 2pm, some histopathology conference or every once a month, department meeting.

How to get work in the wards done when we have to run around attending this and that? And later when it's time for ward rounds with the specialists, there's just something that's just left out or undone. And we get the whacking.

Not that I'm complaining. I just figure that common sense tells us that interns are humans? Not robots?

Middle of this week I had the most denerving experience. A 45-year-old breast cancer survivor arrived from Labuan with jaundice and in respiratory distress. Her abdomen was grossly distended because of ascites. I volunteered to clerk (meaning to take history and work her up) because I thought it would more comfortable for her that I examine her since I'm the only female intern of the 3 interns in my unit.

That was the take off point of a series of unfortunate events for me.

First, she was the first seriously ill patient I've ever processed in the ward. I was trying to get the nurses to help get her oxygen in place, set IV access and propped up, but apparently no one noticed that she was very ill, and took their time to make her comfortable. I was very upset because I was thinking that they were being very neglectful, and that they were not taking my orders seriously.

Then my most senior specialist came an hour later, took a look at her and immediately concluded that she had recurrent breast cancer with metastasis. She was unhappy with me that the patient was not on oxygen up and there was still no IV access. I was so tempted to rat on the nurses, but I figured that they would see that I'm covering for them and that they owe me one.

I seriously need to earn my respect quick. I can't function properly without the nursing staff behind me.

And she immediately explained the prognosis to the relatives of the patient. They looked very upset, and were starting to make arrangements to bring her home for palliative management.

Then later in the afternoon, my MO came and did a bedside ultrasound for her and said that her jaundice was caused by stone in her biliary tree, and that there's treatment for that.

The relatives were confused. But I guess their spirits picked up regardless.

Then my specialist came again late evening and told them to discuss among themselves to bring her sister back to Labuan.

They were even more confused at this juncture.

You see they (specialists and MOs) are not always in the wards. Only the interns, so the relatives would asking me lots and lots of questions. It came to a point that the patient's 3 really big and really hooligan-looking brothers were confronting me, making demands for explanation of their sister's actual condition and whether the hospital could provide oxygen for her journey back to Labuan.

I had to do my best to explain that the patient had double pathology. She had advance cancer, complicated with obstructive jaundice secondary to biliary stone. And because of that, there's no point of putting her through the treatment for the stone. And that when they signed the AOR letter (At Own Risk) letter, the hospital is free from anything that might happen to the patient on the journey back.

One of the brothers actually demanded that I write a letter to say that the patient does not require oxygen for the journey.

"Saya tidak mahu berdosa bila saya buka oxygen dia".

He said something like that.

I calmly (not very calm also la) told him that we don't have to go to that extend. His sister's condition was grave and terminal. The oxygen doesn't keep her going. It's just to make her more comfortable.

Ok, I guess the relatives were not the most difficult bit. My specialist and MO would create all the mess, but I have to do all the cleaning up.

They would disappear and ask me to "talk" to the relatives through the phone. I was even asked to literally see to that they leave the hospital immediately after they sign the AOR letter, which I didn't. They patient was a huge lady, way over 100kg, so it's really difficult to transport her, so the relatives appealed to ME to let them stay until they could arrange a way to transport her.

I didn't have any authority to let them stay but I said ok anyways, so the following day I got a scolding from my MO (whom by the way didn't even say anything to the relatives when he did his rounds in the morning)... I was wasting government money. I shouldn't have allowed them to stay because they signed the AOR letter. Bla. Bla. Bla.

Then I did the weirdest thing. All his scolding just became very airy and diluted when they reached my ears. I suddenly exclaimed, "Dr. W, do you have dogs?"

Dr. W stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide open, and replied, "Yes, I do. " and continued scolding me.

But I was happy.

Later that evening after everything, he promised to let me play with his dogs soon. :)

The patient expired 8.40pm last night, her 3rd day in the ward. May she rest in peace.

But that same night I was oncall, and I was called my the nurse at the Burns Unit. A Filipino lady came in with 90% 3rd degree burns, and DIL (Death in Line) and DNR (Do not resuscitate) were issued the day before because of her grave condition. Her relatives just arrived from KL were making a fuss in the ward, nad the nurses felt physically threatened.

Shit. I'm strong and all, but a group of angry relatives?

I had to run up, as the unfortunate oncall intern. I sat the most dominant sister down and asked her why she was so upset. She claimed that her sister were not getting "medicines" and they was some prejudice going on, since they were Filipinos.

I was shocked. But I proceeded to explain the management of burns and what DIL and DNR were. She understood. About the racial discrimination, I won't lie to her, it's everywhere. But I assured her that her sister was getting the appropriate treatment, all according to protocol. That much I can assure her. There were no "medicines" to treat her sister's burns.

I guess she was a little surprise with my frankness. But they were calm the whole evening until the patient expired later in the night. She was the first death I pronouced in my career.

Sure I was nervous. What if she didn't really die? But no spontaneous breathing, pupils fixed and dilated, cardiac monitor showed asystole. She's dead. And the nurse nudged me to say a few words to the grieving relatives.

"It's confirmed doctor? She's really gone?"

"Yes, I'm sorry." That's all I can say.

---

On lighter note, I'm learning to get over my little crush for Dr. V. But I'm always still so elated to see him whenever he comes around to the ward.

A friend spotted him having dinner with his wife, and I questioned her 101. Were they sitting side-by-side? Were talking and laughing a lot? How did his wife look like? Was she pretty? Did he touch her a lot? Were they in love?

My friends thought I was crazy. But I just had to know.

---

Ok, better key off here. Need some retail therapy. I'm oncall tomorrow. Yes, Sunday.

Cheers!

It's tough, but I'm happy.

I'm alive and well here in KK.

Hey, I really, really miss you guys!

I don't have my internet connection yet in my apartment, so now I'm in an internet cafe in Centre Point, one the more happening malls in KK.

So many things happened in my 3 weeks here, but I guess what I care to share are those things that affected me the most.

I want to believe that I'm changed, and humbled by my very traumatic first 3 weeks as a medical intern.

Had my very first call (on-call means working 8am through the night until the next day 5pm) early this last week and my 2nd last Friday. Scary because I'm all alone manning the male surgical ward of about 40 patients, and currently I'm famous for being the "hottest" intern so far. 6 admissions on my call and 4 of them ended up on the operation table the same night. Didn't sit down the whole night, and needless to say, I didn't even sleep for a minute.

One came in with an apparent infected drain site from a previous laparatomy, so I was asked by my MO (Medical Officer) to just off the suture... and guess what, some 40ml of faecal material burst out and I had to quickly collect it in a sterile bottle as proof, just in case my MO thought I was cracking under pressure. Faecal peritonitis is really, really bad news.

One 21-year-old got admitted around 3am for acute abdomen. But on further examination, we suspected him to have infective endocarditis, and was in heart failure. So I was asked to take blood for culture 3 times, half an hour apart, from 3 different sites, 4am, 4.30am and then 5am. But after the first blood-taking, my patient disappeared into the hollow corridors of Queen Elizabeth Hospital. I was so afraid that he might just collapse somewhere in the very desserted hospital compound so I went looking for him. Nada.

Around 9am after my morning rounds I called the ward and found out that the patient made his way, on foot, back home, and refused to go for any treatment. Aiks. Is it because I gave him the green needle? It's faster mah. If I give him the blue needle, even though smaller, and apparently less painful, I have to poke him longer mah.

When I started, I had 2 weeks of tagging, which was a really tough period for me. 6.30am to 10pm, 7 days a week. Tagging means that I tag onto a more senior intern and follow him/her around and observe the trade. So I was very lucky to get a really, really nice tagee... a great teacher too. Let me do all the procedures, and he had this really great calmness in his voice and his actions... so I never felt nervous manouvering a chest tube and inserting a CVP line.

But now I'm in a new ward, no more tagee, and no more tagging, meaning real responsibilities. Whatever I write in the patients' files and whatever I write in the drug chart, they matter. So it's all very denerving at times.

My other friends who came with me to KK was constantly sharing their burdens with me, so I guess that helps because I don't feel so alone. And true to my true self, I managed to find myself a crush in my 2 weeks of tagging, a young surgeon, who became the main reason how I could drag my body out of bed every morning to make in to the wards before 6.30am every morning.

But later, after my tagging I found out from an unreliable sorce, that he might already be married. So I decided that I couldn't live with uncertainties, and I couldn't ask him directly whether he was married or not, so now I'm slowly weaning off him, so now I'm in another ward, and I don't get to see him that often anymore. It's really hard.

My friends were asking me to scout among my fellow interns... but I can't la. I like older men, period. Hehe. And I want to find a guy with doggies, so I can play with them. :)

And the ther day, this really mean MO from Medical Department made me cry. Sounds silly but he was merciless. It was my first time referring a case, and it was another senior HO who asked me to refer his case. So the MO grilled me on the case and later wrote nasty thing about me about being rude for not reviewing the case before refering it to him and wrote my name in bold and caps in the patient's file. He even misquoted me, but in the end my tagee said to just suck it in, and move on. Many more shitty times to come.

I get. So I move on.

Another thing I still struggling to get usedto is being called Dr. Sharon.

I'm staying at this really nice apartment complex with 2 other friends, fully furnished, with a washing machine, thank God. So now I'm quite happy and all eventhough I feel I don't have much life other than my life as an intern.

I have just, yes, after 3 weeks, made my way, alone, and quite courageously too, to the Likas Sports Complex to check out the indoor swimming pool. It's gorgeous. Will be going there this evening! Yipee! I'm sure I'll be feeling more confident too now in my suit now that I've shed off a couple of kilos since I started working. :)

Courageous I said because it's really confusing to drive here in KK, and now with all the construction going on with the new flyover. Oh ya, my parents sent over the old car to KK, and my new Myvi is in Kuching! :)The other day when we were moving to our new apartment, I got lost and ended driving over 50km around KK, only finally reaching our intended destination after we asked for direction in an abandoned road. Aiks. And by the way, KK drivers suck! Big time!

Excuse me for my lack of structure in this post. I need to key off for now. Have a buy a couple of things for the apartment. Will get internet access soon. Till then, take care people. I really miss you guys!

Last post before I start a new chapter

Will definitely miss blogging lots, especially you guys (if you think you one of them, good for you!) :p

Tied up some loose ends these 2 days. The only thing I didn't manage to do was to visit my dearest and oldest friend in the world, Jojo. And when she sent me a parting gift the other day, I was out on an errand. THANKS JO! See you soon!

I've reduced my things to 2 suitcases. Milestone. :) Will have parents courier the rest over, if necessary, or mum will bring over if she visits next time.

I effectively reduced my whole life into 2 suitcases. But still bringing ALL my earrings! :)

Till I settle down and find time to blog again, take care you all! Won't be replying the comments in previous posts ya.

Some last pictures:



An unidentified orchid species in the church compound.



Finally collected the family portraits from the studio. Album will only be done 5OCT. Sucks.



Will miss Pheobe... Been spending lots of time with her these couple of days...



Damn sure will miss Sarawak laksa...


A bientot!

Some more...

glass pebbles, originally uploaded by sharonhappymorgue.

I wear these quite often to class and to the wards. The green pair is my fav of the 2!

From my Inbox: In memory of Steve Irwin

Food Fair

preparation, originally uploaded by sharonhappymorgue.

Spent the whole day helping mum to cook beef curry for tomorrow church food fair. 4 kilo of beef topside and 30 potatoes! No joke man! Stirring the curry in such a huge pot gave me a really good workout!

St. Peter's Church Parish Food Fair
17 SEPT. 2006
7.30AM-1.30PM

There will be about 80 stalls selling all sorts of food and goodies! All are welcome!

I got these at the Sunday Market!

black butterflies, originally uploaded by sharonhappymorgue.

Pretty huh? Got these for like RM3/- at the Satok weekend market! It's all plastic, babe! But wear it at night, can't see the plastic finishing... eheheheh...

I'll miss Kuching food the most

'chau chai hunan' & 'tian pian hu', originally uploaded by sharonhappymorgue.

Ok la this 2 food items are originally from Sibu, but they are also found wherever foochows dwell, including Kuching. :) These 2 pics were taken at Sin Poh Poh coffee shop at Ban Hock Road here in Kuching.

The chau chai hunan is obviously the dry (fried) variety, but I think the original variety is the wet (soup) one, which I actually prefer, but so happen I was eating the fried one when taking pic.

The tian pian hun is a soupy dish. Note my fav black fungus! The whitish thing is like the kueh in our kueh chap.

Both dish have the signature ingredient of kim chan, or dried lily bulbs which have a nice frangrance and sourish taste. Yummy!

I had my bowl of authentic kuching laksa this morning! Thinking of having kolo mee tomorrow! :)

My first facial

Went for my first facial today. Never ever been for one before because I didn't belive in its concept, and I'm not a fan of people poking my face. But it's something mum wanted to do together with me, so I figured okla since I'm leaving soon... some quality time with her was in order.

When the beautician saw my wretched face, she looked like she was on a mission! And she was distressed when I told her that I can't join one of her regime that she recommended because I'm leaving Tuesday. So she insisted that I come back on Sunday, no extra charge, for a follow up.

I don't exactly have acne problem, but I have terribly oily skin with yucky blackheads that look like that coalesced together!

I was embarassed because it took the beautician about an hour just to remove my blackheads! *shy* Then I had this really nice seaweed masque which was really soothing and I think I even dozed off. :)

Oh ya, before the masque, she did peeling and gave me a face massage, and some laser treatment to promote lymphatic drainage. But I was most impressed when she actually delineated my lymph vessel under my right mandible which was blocked. It even felt kinda gritty. She tracked it and massaged passed an enlarged submandibular node. It brought new meaning to lymph node palpation for me because I never palpate that hard and that deeply... so now that I know that it doesn't hurt to palpate that hard, then next time I would palpate that way la, so won't miss any enlargement.

Yay! Learnt something today.

But the head and shoulder massage was damn painful la. I'm sure I have a bruise over my shoulder blades. Will check on the mirror tonight. But I was thinking that it was me, Sharon Chin, superwoman, who's frequently accused of being a masochist, thinking that the massage was painful... and about what women would put themselves through in the name of beauty!

It was even 5 times more painful than when I was getting my tattoo!

Okla, how do I feel after the facial? Definitely more relaxed. Great therapy. Feel like a thick heavy layer was lifted off my face. Backhead density reduced. Face a little more radiant lo. Don't know la, still not very convinced with its benefits... but would go for it anytime just for relaxation... and if complexion improves, it's an extra! :) But it was a little too long... 2 and a half hours!

Cost. Package with mum... about RM150 each, then I bought a set of facial cleanser, toner, some gels... 5 bottles all together for RM155... which would last me about 2 months.

The beautician was explaining to me how to use the product, and even showing me how to use the cotton pad and the direction of application, and I must have looked a bit confused/disturbed/skeptical... so my mum suddenly told her to not mind me... and that I was very "simple".

"Aiyah, you have to explain to her properly because she never used this sort of things. She very simple one."

Then she went on and on about me not bothered to take care of my skin lo, and that I swim too much lo (the beautician gasped!), and spent too much time under the sun lo... :D

Whatever la.

And no make-up for me, she insisted. Actually happy to hear that. So now I have a reason (at least a reason, though not a good one) not to wear la without feeling that guilty for subjecting people to my unmade face. No choice mah.

And she kept on reminding me before we left, "Koolat-koolat sei bin yong he ley cleanser hah.." (direct translation: hardworking hardworking wash face with that cleaser hah)

Yes, I will try. I want to have nice skin for once. :)

Updates

IMG_3846, originally uploaded by sharonhappymorgue.

These were from Angie for my graduation! Thanks Gie! She was a little disturbed before giving me the present because she realized (after we didn't see each other quite a while) that I was into BIG earrings. But in fact I wear them quite often because they are simple and elegant... and I'll be wearing them for work. :)
---

Ok. Short post. Very tired today. Did most of everything I planned yesterday except timing a bit upseted because system down in the morning at immigration. But everything settled.

Collecting tickets (mind and 3 other friends') tomorrow. Leaving 9am Tuesday. Opened Maybank account. Called KK to arrange our hostel. People were very nice even though I ended speaking like an Indonesian. :)

But I managed to go for a swim today! 20 laps. Water was freezing today. My extremities felt numb half-way the swim. Felt a little panicky. Sympathetic system.

Have to key off now. Going to visit LEON the cat again for the last time before I leave. Tomorrow visiting SUCRE the puppy.

Will visit your blogs soon! Cheers!

Mixed feelings

i'm a neat freak, originally uploaded by sharonhappymorgue.

So I received my posting letter around 11.30am. Yup Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Kota Kinabalu. Of course I'm estatic, but it just dawned on me how much I have to settle before I leave next week. I can't figure out all the forms they sent me.

My bags are kinda packed, but it's too heavy. I can just pull the bag up in one jerky motion, about a few cm off the ground. Then it falls back like a boulder. I may have to take out everything, for the 4th time, take out some and rearrange them again.

Met 2 other colleagues who got KK in the afternoon to make some arrangement. I'll be booking our seats Tuesday next week. Very happy to have some friends along.

Then tomorrow I need to renew my passport (dad said better to renew even though I don't need a passport for KK, just in case I need to travel next time), then open an account with Maybank, and close with stupid RHB, call the hospital to arrange our hostel and decide whether to send my books and other heavy things by cargo or just everything on my flight.

Decisions, decisions.

And the forms... I had to read and reread all of them just now, and I'm still a little confused. Anyways, I'll just make copies of all of them just to be safe.

So disturbed that my sis asked for my room just now. No way man. Siaw.

And the worst part part just now I was told that we don't usually get our 1st pay until after 3 months of working. That sucks.

But the up side was that we'll be getting more than I thought initially... we got clothing allowance and elaun persekutuan... :)

And I was thinking a little about the future of my blog.

Ok. Stop here. Sleepy already.