Learning the hard way

Post call again. Had my first neurosurgery call. Was very agitated and nervous the several days preceding my first real-life experience with traumatic head injury, skull fracture and comatose patients. The only great thing is the blood-taking bit. Poked wherever that was convenient to ME. No reservations. :) They don't complain, obviously. :)

Had my first brush with a hyperkalaemic patient with ECG changes. Way cool for me because I couldn't believe I actually saw all the typical hyperkalaemic changes printed in front of me as the ECG machine were recording the electrical activities of the poor man's heart. Tented T waves, small P waves and widened QRS complex. Just like in exam. And potassium came back 6.0. I quickly came my MO a call and asked him to give me the go to start on the Tripple regime. He said ok, and 4 hours later, a repeat ECG saw all the changes just completely resolved.

Amazing.

The poor patient could have died, but the thing that bothered me was my initial hesitation to call my MO despite being very sure that the changes were hyperkalaemic changes. I took a minute and doubted myself. That could have cost the man his life. I realized that I should have buried the fear of being wrong and risk being reprimanded and just call my damn MO. All for the patient, all for the patient.

My seniors said that we learn most of the things we need to know the hard way, which is quite unacceptable to me. If we can learn things the easy way, why shouldn't we? We shouldn't have to constantly risk people's lives to learn stuff and be more competent.

For my call, I brought 2 textbooks and a medical emergency handbook, which were my source of some sense of security.

Tomorrow onwards I'll be doing neurosurgery rotation for 2 weeks. Yes, the silly head of HOs gave me a neurosurgical call even before I had any experience in neurosurgery. But I feel much braver after yesterday's call. Slept only from 3am to 6am this morning. And I had to cover paediatric surgery as well. 3 children in the ward last night were having electrolyte imbalances as well. Luckily the Paediatric MO on call (who I had to constantly call up throughout the day and night to inform him of the children's progress) was nice and very patient. After 2 phone calls, I knew what to present to him, the info he needed to shorten the telephone conversation, and with each call, I could sense he trusted me. That was a bonus.

Great news! I've finally weaned off my very married (and father-to-be) Dr. V! Because I've found a new target! My friends are disgusted with me. How can I unlike someone so fast?!

Not so easy la bitches. It takes so much courage and many episodes of shortness of breath to finally accept the fact that I can't like him (and can't have him) because he's very married.

My new target is my very new MO, who just joined the surgical department from casualty department. Such a gentleman! And such a great teacher as well. He could tell that I was still kinda blur, especially the other my first time in the OT. And my first time assisting in a thyroidectomy. He took time to tell me where to get the forms to fill, what to prepare, etc. Later in the ward, he taught me how to write a better review, and the important stuff that should be included. And I could see how my understanding of what I'm doing in the wards day in and day out increasing exponentially.

Now I get my role as a HO. We are quite important after all.

Let's call my new crush Dr. Bear. :)

Maybe I just like nurturing guys. And he's such a gentle person! And he speaks so calmly too! *dreamy* The funny thing is that physically he's so completely the opposite in terms of physical attributes to Dr. V. Dr. V was beanpole tall with very serious expression on his face. Dr. Bear just has a very purposeful and kind face, and he's not that much taller than me, and has a heavy built, but I wouldn't call him fat. Just like a cute Teddy Bear.

The problem is, I don't know his "status". So what if he's married kan, some of you might say, if I just want to have a crush on him. But I can't. It's just my thing. I have OCD in many aspects of my lifestyle, and this is just one of them. :)

I flying home for a short break end of the month! Can't wait! Miss my family and my doggies at home, and my cousin Cynthia just got herself a Bull Mastif puppy she named Pepper!!! My dad sent me a picture and I thought he was adorable! I can't wait to squeeze him and kiss him! I can't post the picture now though because the internet cafe terminals has a weird OS... can't use the My Computer part... so I can't save anything into my handy drive and open any files from the it either.

I'm absolutely tired now, but I don't want to "waste" my weekend by sleeping because by 6.30am tomorrow morning, I have to be in the wards again. I have 15hours left to do non-work related things.

After this I want to get something done with my hair, haven't quite decided what. Yes, maybe I'll colour my hair, maybe streak it. :) I want to pamper myself a little because I start looking like a mess, usually half-way through my week, and I'm on call again this coming Thurs and Sunday.

Have asked my mum to make an appointment for a facial in Kuching for me when I get back.

And when I get my pay, I need to do some serious shopping for clothes!

I forgot to mention that the real reason why I'm going home end of this month is to attend an old schoolmate's wedding reception! People, Joyce Ho is tying the knot!

I don't know whether to cry in happiness for her or cry in despair for myself. Ehehehe. So I guess I'll be crying in happiness. :)

There's this one spinster doctor that everyone hates in the hospital. Even she is dating, OH MY GOD.

Ok, better key off here. Thank you guys for all your comments! Miss you all! I've been to your sites, but am not leaving any comments for now. Take care!