Wa tan beehoon

The other spot I frequent during my calls. The hospital canteen. Their good food (esp. Wa tan beehoon, tom yam mee) offsets their poor service. I hope the next 12 hours of my call will be as uneventful as the past 12 hours. Only 1 referral so far. A stab wound victim who alleged that he was attacked by several unknown men, for no apparent reason in the pasar ramadhan during the breaking of fast hour. Not even an apparent robbery. But then, everybody lies (according to House). 3 jagged stab wounds on his back, but luckily superficial when I probed the wounds one by one with a swab stick. X-rays ok. So I sent him home with some oral meds after T&S.

Oncall, my painful left toe, necropsy & Paris

It's 1.20am, I'm oncall and I can't sleep after seeing a stupid referral in casualty. Stupid because it's not a surgical case but I saw the patient anyway because I couldn't trust the referring doctor. Call me bias but I couldn't trust him because of his very thick middle-eastern accent and because he couldn't speak BM very well. Sorry. How to get a proper history from patients? Not feeling great these 2 days. A bit stressed out, I know because my left toe is painful again. The pain always come when I'm in stressful circumstances. It's not because of work, just all the decisions I have to make pertaining to my future. 2 days ago I had a shot of being an actual CSI/coroner when I assisted a visiting forensic specialist in a case. We went to the scene of the alleged crime and took pictures and reconstructed the possible chain of events before proceeding to the actual necropsy. Soooo fun! That was the highlight of my week I guess. Thank God my housemate will be back from Paris tonight. I really so envy her courage to just pack a few stuff and travel all the way to Paris from Sandakan without elaborate planning, all by herself, just for the fun of it. I should do that too next year. I've exhausted my leave for this year, saving my last for Christmas.

What every doctor should have

I'm oncall today. Quite a few admissions, none critically ill so far, touch wood. I pass my 'drought' period during my calls going online on my E71. Coolness. Whatever information is literally at my fingertips. Gone are the days of carrying not-so-very light pocketbooks, which are limited to the discipline of the book. With the internet, I have unlimited info. But I wish I can have Dr. Soo's Sarawak Book of Emergencies in my E71. That would complete me as a MO.

Nice day

Had an enjoyable day running errands. Sent my neglected car for servicing and wash, mini spring cleaning in the apartment and some self-pampering. :) Even had a bowl of my fav seafood soup at this famous local spot. Sorry forgot the actual food pictures because my meal was interrupted by a chinese uncle who was recently admitted for irreducible hernia. He was so excited to see me and was surprised I was there all by myself so he thought he sat with me and told me all about the eatery. He owns a shop next to it. He also paid for my lunch. I guess it was a good thing that this uncle sort of intruded my planned peaceful lunch because for the 1st time in many months that I'm in Sandakan, I thought the local people, particularly the chinese, were quite ok.

Bearer of bad news

Breaking bad news is probably one of the worst part of the job. Yesterday the team had to tell a 40-year-old man that he had colon cancer that had invaded his bladder. Unfortunately he was eating when we got around to his bed. I saw his face turned a shade paler and he was weakly pushing his food around his container after everything was said. After that just one cubicle away, I had to tell the family of an illegal immigrant who presented with severe head injury with craniectomy done, but post-surgery he was slipping away, so the team decided that we couldn't do any much more for him. So basically I had to tell the family that we had given up on him. So no escalation of medicines, no inotropes and, no resuscitation. So we are hoping he dies soon, so his suffering would end soon, so that his relatives' anguish would be over too, so that no infection starts in the ward from him, so that we could prepare his bed for the next patient.

My day is bright and sunny eventhough grey clouds loom over the main area of the hospital, a sinister sign of yet another day of impending lighting and thunder and brief downpour this evening. Didn't wake up feeling extremely chirpy because of my rather busy call. A little tired. So wasn't a great start to the morning. No. But my day is bright and sunny with fluffy cotton candy clouds because I'm so happy that Federer was victorious early this morning! I can't stop smiling and beaming. :)

Oncall & toiletry bag, but my heart is at Flushing Meadows

My oncall equipment since my internship. :) Especially my trusty ol toiletry bag. We go way back to my 4th year in medical school. It has since been everywhere with me. I got a new one couple of months back so briefly I left the old one in Kuching, but after 3 months apart, I knew we were meant together. So now the new bag is stuffed away in the closet in my house in Kuching, and my dear ol friend with me everyday, never again to be parted again from me. I promise. A colleague is sick so I'm oncall today. So will be missing the US Open men's singles final between Federer and brit Andy Murray who looks super sharp on court. But I'm Federer's most loyal fan. No question about that. ;)

Weekend & Decisions

Spent my weekend hydrating myself, arranging my wardrobe, doing laundry, ironing, facial and hair treatment. It was bliss. It's strange that I'm always coming upon crossroads in my career every few months. After 2 months in Surgery, I've finally received my transfer to the Casualty Department, but my Surgeon asked me to stay another month to help out, so I'll only cross over in October. Initially I regretted that I agreed to stay after 2secs of saying "ok" but now I don't know if I really want to leave because I've become very comfortable. And now I realize that with the new year looming in, I remember my plan early this year to start applying for my attachment in forensic in KL. My target is actually a transfer by the 2nd quarter of 2009, so by right I have to start applying before end of this year. So it's a non-stop process of moving on, trying new things, avoiding to be complacent. Decisions, decisions.

Chaos

Chaos is the order of the day. An intestinal obstruction, a head injury with intracranial bleed, few abscesses, an irreducible hernia and a couple appencitis. I'm so glad I'm 1st line. It's fun making diagnoses and making plans. But standing in the OT for hours and hours, I can't imagine. Of all the disciplines in Medicine, surgeons have the worst life. The appealing thing for me about surgery is the decisiveness of the plan of management. Tumour=chop, bleeder=tie or burn, obstruction=relieve, pus=drain. Do or die. Life should be that simple.

Anger management

The carnival has been in town for about a week, but after just one weekend, this is the atmosphere at opening time yesterday. People in Sandakan are not cool enough for a carnival. Though I enjoy my work here, I'm very sure I'll not miss Sandakan when I have to relocate again. It's a shabby and neglected town and her people equally shabby. Ever since I got back from my Induksi, I've promised myself to learn to manage my anger and impatience more especially in my work, and some of the tips I got from the internet regarding self-anger management has been surprisingly very simple and useful.

Babies are rather durable

My first. A baby with an indented skull. His mum tripped while carrying him and squashed him on a concrete floor. Thank God for a child's malleable skull. Child is fine, except for the ashtray on his head.

Mobile blogging

This is cool. I can now blog on the go. The picture is of the bed in the surgical MO oncall room in the hospital, my 2nd home. :)

From my album: Kundasang, Sabah

I may not be very politically savvy and because of that labeled unpatriotic by some, but one thing I'm sure is that I'm very grateful to have a beautiful country, peaceful one most of the time, eventhough her people are unsettled and ungrateful, greedy and selfish. Another thing I'm sure is that eventhough I'm politically unsavvy, and labeled unpatriotic by some, I know what I can do for my beautiful country to make her a better place to live in. Happy 51st Birthday Malaysia!

From my album: With my darling Pheobe. Dad & mum informed that she's put on weight. She's now 16kg! Goodness!

There is a brown male mongrel who lives in a squatter house at the back road from my apartment to the hospital. I take that back road to work every morning at around 6.30-6.45am. Without fail every morning except if it's raining or if I'm a little earlier or a little late, that brown mongrel would crouch low in an ambush position to jump to the level of the driver's side window of ANY passing vehicle in front of his house. I am not spared from the rather denerving experience every morning, not because I'm afraid of the rather big canine, but rather worried that I might run him over. So one morning I was driving quite closely behind a 4WD passing the brown mongrel's house, and expectedly he jumped high enough to the level of the 4WD's driver side window and barking crazily as he jumped. I swear I could see the expression on his face as soon as the whole motion ended. He was having fun! Cheap thrill! He wasn't intending to attack or anything of that sort. He was just having his daily dose of excitement. I couldn't believe that dog! So the following morning, I slowed down my car as I approached his house, and again expectedly he was crouching in an ambush position at his mark, waiting for my car to pass him. But then I suddenly stopped my car in front of him, me looking face-to-face at the Hound of Bakersville. I swear all I saw was a huge question mark on top of his head, and his long tail between his legs when he realised that I uncovered his "secret".

From my album: With Miko, my neighbour's cat, who visits me very often. He loves to hang out with me and sleeps on my couch until his mum calls for him from the apartment 1 floor below. Dad took these snapshots of us on his webcam.

I'm so happy to be home in Kuching for a couple of days. It was a last minute arrangement but whatever, the outcome is a couple of blissful days of home and mum's cooking. :). Happy to be with my family and of course, to see my Pheobe again, who just 10weeks ago before I left Kuching on my last trip sustained a spinal injury that rendered her paraplegic. It's really a miracle to see her running and able to control her bowel and bladder again, and most importantly, to see her wag her tail again.

I was more heartbroken than anything else in the world this morning when I received a text from my dad during my morning ward round with the team that Federer lost his 6th consecutive Wimbledon crown to Nadal. In a 5-setter some more. :( Even more devastating than my bad call. The call that caused me not to be able to watch this year's epic finals. The call that was so busy that I didn't get even a moment of sleep. The call that 2 patients died during my watch. The call that the day after was also a bad day. How can fate be so cruel to Federer? The grace and class of tennis, lost to the power and brute force of the game, that had become so dear to me?

From my album: Taken in Sibu, the night scene of Ku Tien Garden from across a lake.

I'm enjoying working in the hospital again. It's surreal that I get what I want so quickly. But the early mornings, long hours and emergencies have slapped me silly on the face to the reality. It was a little overwhelming being the newest member of the all-male surgical team on my 1st two days of work, and I have to admit for a transient moment, I felt a pang of regret for the transfer. But when I started getting referrals and given more opportunities and encouragement from the team, I felt like I was getting my "groove" back. It is true that experience, and entrapment (haha) make one a better (meaning having more common sense) doctor.

From my album: One of my happiest moments. I was speaking to a crowded auditorium about the autopsy findings of suppurative brain abscess in a 30-year-old man. Taken during my 4th year of med school in my faculty auditorium.

I'm driving my new housemate mad! Haha! I made her figure out one of my favourite fruit in the world. I asked, "What fruit is bigger than an apple, very juicy but not crunchy with thick skin, and has cultural symbolism?" We were having a heated debate about it in the restaurant over dinner. She finally guessed it after we got home 2 hours later, by method of exclusion. So slow. :D We went for another movie after work! Yesterday we thoroughly enjoyed Kungfu Panda, but a little disappointed with Indiana Jones today. But we decided that it was a must to watch for old time sake. :) I thought Harrison Ford didn't age as gracefully as Sean Connery or George Clooney. :)

From my album: Slimy but yummy "sayur midin". To celebrate my love for veggies and colours! Taken at Kuching's Petanak Market.

This weekend is special. A turn-over weekend. A new chapter of my life. My transfer is through, so am starting work in the surgical department on Tuesday! I went for a little tour with a future colleague last night and felt a little nervous because I've not been in the wards for 5 months, but nevertheless very excited at the new prospect. Am starting tagging for 2 weeks, will be missing Wimbledon then, boohoo. And then I have a new apartment mate. Was wrangling with the internet router cables this morning so that both of us can be online. And to celebrate our "renewed" collaboration (we were housemates during internship in KK), we binged on Japanese and cheesecake for dinner last night! I have so much to thank God for you know, besides the obvious. Have a great weekend everyone!

From my album: Always looking for an interesting subject for my lenses, spotted this scruffy but rather elegant-looking dog from the backseat of my moving car, back home in Kuching.

The aircond is back in the clinic, not surprisingly just in time for state medical director's visit. A new man for the post, but such a dull and unimpressive character. Wanted to ask him about their policy on posting new MOs in the district. Why did they choose to post us in the exact places that we didn't apply for in spite the fact that those places are in dire need of MOs, and, on top of that, they posted other MOs who didn't want to be at those places we want? And, if they didn't intend to bother to entertain our application, why did we have to fill in so many application forms? I'm being querulous making this issue a big deal, but SO WHAT? I've reached this stage in my working life that I don't give a damn about the admin or its policies. I'm just concerned about my vocation, my patients and my experiences. How can I be wrong if I'm doing my work well without having to play dirty or worse, "kipas buntut". I'll do anything to maximise the fun and the learning experience. So I'm bitching just for fun. Hehe. Will be bitching about little things some more next time. It's fun not to be coherent. :D