The Menteri

I'm a little concerned that I'm taking over the whatever-they-call-it-jonah aura from my colleague Z. I'm quite sure my shifts for the past 2 weeks had been super crazy busy, even busier than Z's. That's crazy. Thank God for HOs that I can depend on. They are an immense help. Now I'm looking forward to the arrival and speedy functionality of the new MO, who I was made to understand have decided to join the ED. That would mean an extra brain and an extra pair of legs. THANK YOU JESUS. Then we would revert to our 3-shifts perday roster. L has been pestering me to change the roster since Saturday. Siaw. The newbie has not even started tagging.

Something rather hilarious happened in the midst of the chaos I call casualty today. A man presented with MI, and was unstable in the Resus Room. I was informed by the Triage MA that some menteri wanted to see the patient in the Resus Room, which was ridiculous to me, so I hastily went out the Resus room to meet the entourage at the entrance. I told them that the patient was unstable and that they could not go in to see him. On top of that, there were 3 other patients in there. But the "menteri" requested that I inform the patient that he came to see him. So in response, I asked who he was. He was rather taken aback and after a few rather painful seconds, he introduced himself (no name) as "deputy chief minister". I didn't process much at that time and answered ok I would relay his message and returned to the Resus room.

The poor minister must be so mad at his team for their poor management of his publicity. Most of the staff did not even recognize him.

My naive and very cute HO actually asked him later on, when the minister was allowed to go in to briefly speak to the patient, "who are you sir? why are you inside the resus room?" *LOL*

Moral of the story: You are nobody if you don't make a difference.

Time to move on

It's been 2 years and 4 months since I arrived in Sandakan. It's time to go. When I still have more fond memories than horrid ones, and when I still find her people and the place charming and endearing.

2nd CNY in a Row in Sandakan

[The sea view from Trigg Hill]

I'll be spending CNY working. Not a bad prospect. Have become used to it. Didn't go back either last year. Can earn extra from claims and the whole weekend would probably be over very fast. I just hope everyone would have the sense of taking care of themselves and avoid going to the ED.

All the rich, spoilt, chinese ah bengs back from overseas driving sports car, don't drink and drive! And don't treat the pothole-ladden roads of Sandakan like Sepang! If you come in the ED with a broken leg, or anything painful (but not life-threatening la!), I'll conveniently forget the painkiller. Comprende?

Gentle reminder that we all perish one day. Seize the day!

[Mr. Lizard probably died of chronic illnesss in my apartment store room]

New Boss

[Jalan Imbi, KL]

We have a new boss. Ambitious. On a mission. Some team members feeling a little threatened and overwhelmed. I'm giving the Boss a chance. Our pre-existing condition isn't that great, so nothing to lose, any change.

A new baby for the new year

Got myself a Canon 450D for the new year and my birthday. :)

I wonder if all the ungodly shift hours that I work will cause me to age faster? I feel tired and grey nowadays.

Talking about controlling the exercise aspect of my health, I can't decide what to do. I want to swim, but I'm worried about what chlorine can do to my hair and skin. I want to do brisk walking, but I'm paranoid about being stabbed in Sandakan. I want to stay indoors as much as possible in Sandakan because I just have the paranoid delusion that working in ED has made me a lot of haters that may want to hurt me, especially when I'm outside my elements, aka outside the hospital. Then I was thinking of going back to the gym, but I'm worried that I might find it boring after a while which happened the last time I joined the gym, and not to mention an utter waste of money. EXCUSES.

Shay, 8kgs lighter

It's been 6 months since my last entry, since Europe. Life after that was mundane because I made it so, and centred around work.

I'm secretly happy working in the Emergency Department because I'm a closeted adrenaline junkie, eventhough I openly show my dissatisfaction, my hormonal/emotional pre-depression mood swings, my lack of interest to interact with people at work, which are all true feelings. In my Utopia, I work in a high-paced and stressful Emergency Depatment, minus the lazy, bitchy humans. That would work perfectly well, but unfortunately my work is centred around lazy, bitchy human beings. Plus, the ungrateful patients and their family members. Plus how much a whore I feel working as a government doctor, as poignantly put by PL.

PL is now in Rome, mingling and getting exorcised by the Pope. I so hate her. I want to get exorcised too, and travel. But I'm addicted to my family and to my home, so I spend most of my leave flying home. There's no regret really going home instead of traveling. It's just that I really hate when it's the end of my holiday and I have to go through the trauma of leaving home over and over again each time. HATE.

The only great thing from this whole mess I ungratefully call my life at the moment is that I've lost 8kgs (17 freaking pounds!) over the last couple of months by just taking control of just one aspect of my health; FOOD. I've yet to conquer exercise. :) The lazy bug is much mightier than my will power at the moment.

Trust

I should not doubt myself so much.

Beautiful

TONNES have happened since my last entry. Life-changing no doubt. Eye-opening definitely.



Europe was the experience of a lifetime. It's a catalyst I guess for me to embrace the traveling bug that's hibernating in me. I want to travel more.

Black and happy again

My hair is jet black. Black again after 11 years of brunnette, red and blonde. Rav comments mostly. Rock, fresh, good girl. For me, I'm glad it just looks healthy.

OMG. My crush is married to the nicest and probably the prettiest nurse in the hospital. And she's 12wks pregnant. I'm not surprised he's married. Just sad a little because I realized I can't really compete with those pretty young things. And all the nice guys are usually taken.

But I'm trully happy in my life at the moment. Everything is going on for me, well except for the matters of the heart department.

Less is more

I broke my KFC resolution this week. Dinner plate, spicy. Damn.

Forensic is fizzling for me.

Flirting is fun, but I'm not very good at it.

No exercise, getting flabby. Aiks.

Crush

I really, really, really want to exude happiness in everything that I do especially in my work from today onwards. Because it feels more rewarding at the end of the day. I must learn this gradually because it's always easier for me to be aloof. Pray for me.

The happiest moments of my life today are those brief conversations and eye contacts with my latest crush, D. Ok, flirting.

The moment we saw each other at the beginning of the shift, I could see him a little dizzy and silly like a schoolboy. He would walk past me only to reverse several steps back to say hi and ask whether I was doing night duty (eventhough I was the only doctor oncall). Excuse to talk to me. Then he would try to make small conversations with me the best he could, and I would indulge him. I like that he always looks at my face with good eye contact and occasionally looks at my mouth when we're not talking. It's just something I appreciate from a guy because I notice my chest usually gets more attention than any other part of my body.

Lust

I really, really, really want to have a direction and a purpose in life. I'm worried that being so comfortable at the moment with my work and life, that I might be too complacent for my own good.

The happiest moment in my life today is to be able to fall completely in a deep sleep at 7.45am in the morning inspite of the sun after my night shift. I felt so rested after.

I'm feeling lust for someone I'm working with. And I know that he feels the same for me. He's always looking at me if he's at a distance, and at my mouth (I assume at my lips) whenever we are in close proximity. But it's just wrong, simple.

Cardioversion

I really, really, really want to be competent in my work and to provide the best health care that I possibly can.

The happiest moment(s) in my life to day are:

(1) Performing cardioversion for the first time in my life
(2) Eating 2 pieces of the yummiest chapati ever for dinner with fish curry!

Body scrub

I realy, really, really want to have a radiant complexion and a even more outstanding personality shinning through.

The happiest moment in my life today is spending 45mins scrubbing my whole body and feeling so smooth and supple after!

Vegetarian pork satay

I really, really. really want to be drop-dead gorgeous, both inside and out. ;)

The happiest moment in my life today would be the non-stop chatter session I had with my housemate. More like bitching session, that is, but it's damn therapeutic. xD

I was telleing PL that I could control th eworld with my breasts. Needless to say she was disturbed.

Then I had for the first time in my life, a vegetarian pork satay.

Key questions

What do I really, really, really want?

What is the happiest moment in my life today?

Change my mantra.

Boo

St. Paul's Ruins, originally uploaded by sharonhappymorgue.

Haha ok now half of my resolution list is no longer applicable/practical. Let me explain why later.