Virgin call

So far so good my savings plan except for the occasional binging sessions I have with my girlfriends. Food in KK not cheap ok. I just had a RM50 Japanese dinner, which could have been petrol money for at least 5 days.

But when it comes to food, I don't skimp. :) Food too important.

So far it's been a roller-coaster ride in paeds. I'm in the acute cubicle, so it's really crazy. And the fact that I'm new, it's extra stressful. Scoldings from my MOs and Specialist. It's not really scolding scolding. It's nagging scolding with a pinch of sarcasm and a teaspoon of irritation. It's less nurturing in this department, but the workload is bearable.

At the begining of the week I was feeling a little more motivated after getting the hang of blood-taking and managing some of the common acute cases.

Then yesterday a neonate 30+ days of life came to the ward in respiratory distress. Born to an illegal immigrant mother with no antenatal check-up. Delivered at home, no Vit. K given. Non-immunized. While resuscitating, blood oozed out from her endotracheal tube.

Haemorrhagic disease of the newborn.

Bedside ultrasound showed intraparenchymal bleed in the brain.

I don't recall exactly how long we resuscitated, but the baby died.

Though it was heartbreaking to see the child died quite horribly with her bruised chest wall (from resuscitation) and blood oozing from her nose, as I drew 10ml of blood from her heart for culture, I was quite excited to have experienced my first neonatal resuscitation in real time.

That excitement didn't translate well to my mum though when I called her to tell her the events of my day, after more than a week of not calling home.

"It's quite exciting today mum. A baby died and I got to do resuscitation on her!"

A moment of unusual silence.

"That's disturbing. " my mum finally replied.

Damn. I didn't mean that way la. It's just that I usually like to focus on the positive side of things, because in my field, we see bad things or heroic things, on a daily basis. We need to know how to balance things up.

I'll be having my virgin call in paeds tomorrow. 4th call. The most lepak call. Happy. And Saturday calls are better than Sunday calls.

It's only 9pm, but my eyes are losing thier focusing power, and I'm yawning 4-5 times/min. I need sleep.