No, no to guys who smoke and hate doggies

Time flies when you're having fun. But time flies even when I'm not. Good and bad la. Good because theoretically I'm supposedly be over the slavery of my job and the directionless life that I'm leading at the moment with each passing day and week and month. Bad because I'm getting old and still not a clear path ahead of me.

In some ways I envy my sis because she's forced to make a milestone, even though she's ill-prepared at the moment, but who is ever truly ready for marriage and kids?

I'll be very busy tomorrow onwards (yes tomorrow, Sunday) because some big-shot urologist consultant from KL is coming and we have to have a grand round with him tomorrow afternoon and it would be full swing operations from Monday to Wednesday. Seniors said be prepared to leave work 8-9pm everyday. Sigh.

Post-call today. Had a bad call last night because there was a 16-year-old girl with rectal cancer and brain mets in the ward who was in sepsis and having hallucinations last night. Throughout the night her BP was between 60/45 to 80/50 on noradrenaline and she was screaming and crying the whole night because she was seeing a ghost at the window. She even asked me to ask the ghost to leave, to which I obliged.

She even asked me half-way during one of her freaking-out episodes, in a very weird and calm voice, whether I was a Muslim. I just answered "no" and that I was a Christian, and she started screaming and kept pointing frantically at the glass window that showed a panoramic view of the brightly-lit street of Jalan Penanmpang. No ugly ghost.

The nurses were very annoyed with her, and I think they secretly gave her midazolam without letting the doctors knowing about it.

The surgeon on call came around 11pm last night to check on her, and discussed with the girl's sister about her poor prognosis and the final decision at the end of the discussion was not to resuscitate if she should collapse last night.

It should have been a relief for any HO on call, but seriously, how can I not feel for the 16-year-old girl. The world had given up on her.

So throughout the night I monitored her, and amazingly, her BP picked up around 3am this morning, and in fact she was quite well before I left the ward around 6am this morning to go to my regular ward to start my morning reviews.

She was throwing a tantrum because she wanted to drink Coke. She was actually not allowed orally, but I didn't see any reason why she was, so I allowed her sips of clear fluids because initially she was crying and begging for water because she felt thirsty.

She was still holding up when I enquired about her from my colleague around 1.30pm after I finished my work just now.

I would always remember little Masnini.

Another patient who kept me worrying the whole night was one lady, post-thyroidectomy with hypocalcaemia, who had all the classical symptoms and signs. Carpopedal spasm, perioral numbness, muscle twitching, etc. Luckily she slept through the night with her calcium correction infusion until I woke her up 5am this morning to take her blood for another serum calcium level.

I had a huge and hearty Indian lunch and just now an equally huge and hearty Japanese dinner. Spent more than RM50 for both meals. It's a personal tradition to treat myself after an exhausting call or a busy week. Or whenever I have the time. I actually slept the whole afternoon, and could have slept through the evening and probably until tomorrow morning, but I figured that I want to enjoy a little. That would pick my spirits up a little before tomorrow.

And I had Häagen-Dazs chocolate ice-cream. Heaven. :)

And the alone time was blissful too. It's only when I'm in this line of service that I truly appreciate my personal time more.

I just found out that government servants are not supposed to have body piercings or tattoos. Oops. It's in the agreemnet letter we signed before we accepted the post. Which I didn't actually got around reading. :) Oops.

It's hard to get over Mr. V. I still "catch" myself looking out for him in the ward. Hoping that he would notice me or make eye contact with me. I was telling a colleague who was trying to introduce me to his eligible friends that I was into Mr. V until I found out that he was married and expecting a baby.

"You backed out because he was married or because of the baby?"

Idiot!!!

I'm not such a bitch ok. :)

And he just said that I appeared in his life at the wrong time.

Yeah, that's true.

Anyways, I wasn't interested in any of his friends because they either smoke or don't like doggies, which are 2 basic things I look out for.

I think it's reasonable, kan? (In the Sabahan accent)

So I try to console myself by thinking that Mr. V probably hated doggies. I know he doesn't smoke.

Ok, it's 10. Need to drive back now. My broadband still not up yet. Telekom here in KK sucks la. 3 working days and my land line here still can't call out.

Good night!